Demanding love

REKHA ACHARYA

When my friend Rohan fell for a neighborhood lass, he was so deeply in love with her that he did not realize that she was manipulating him for her own selfish end. In the meantime, the bubble burst when he overheard a conversation between his girlfriends with her friend. When the latter congratulated her on getting such a fool, she confessed that she was always putting forward conditions for anything he wanted. Hearing this, Rohan was shell-shocked when he inadvertently heard this callus talk of his beloved girlfriend. After this, tears dropped from his eyes and he now saw that she for just what she was=-a scheming woman, who did not have any of the qualities to become a loving wife and mother. This opened his eyes. Certainly, she was not a suitable life partner for him so he had better drop the idea of marrying her.

In the end he realized that marrying such a self-centered girl would create disharmony in his home and unhappiness all around. After all, a loving relationship is based on being accommodative and giving and so, wisely, he decided to move away from her.

Sadly though, it is found that many girls have the immature idea that they can have the upper hands in a relationship of love if they set conditions and demands. Such tactics often backfire. Most men seek a tender and loving girlfriend and not a calculating gold digger who is bent on getting the most out of them.

Much of the girl’s attraction lies in her gentle and loving nature. When she chooses a man and realizes she loves him dearly, she should do this unconditionally and unselfishly. This does not mean that she should give in to all his demands.

But she should be sincere and honest with her feelings and

not put on airs, act high and mighty and make the man

do her slightest bidding without any consideration for his capacity or feelings.

Since the love between a girl and boy is supposed to be the bulwark of their future life together, it should have commitment and real concern for each other. It is not a business arrangement where on the partner needs to be at an advantage, or where there is room for suspicion and mistrust. It is a different ball game altogether.

A meaningful life can result only from the experience of love in our life, we should not stain the beauty of love with bargaining and conditions. Love means thinking more about the

other person’s needs than one’s own. Love is giving, and giving generously, without hope of reward of requite. Only then

will it last a lifetime, and through illness and health, till death separate the lovers.