Blessing in disguise

Why was I so different? The first few months of high school is usually exciting, but not for everyone. “Real anxiety” is how I like to describe that phase of high school. What was the problem?

Doctors call it Acne vulgaris, but for me it was a disaster. A disaster that agonised me for years. My face began breaking out with bad hormonal acne around my 15th.

Thinking of myself as a meticulous person, even an occasional pimple bothered me. I was so bothered that at point of time I felt as if my life was falling apart. Most people around this time were celebrating their newfound liberty in high school, but I was mourning over my face.

I started comparing myself with every other student in the class. Self-esteem had reached a new low. It was like I would fall into depression. I just wanted to hide from everybody and everything.

Then one day my class teacher asked everyone to deliver a speech for the selection of a class representative. When it was my turn, I started trembling. I dragged myself to the front of the class, took a deep breath and with my eyes staring down, I just spoke. When I finished, to my utter surprise, everybody started clapping. When I raised my head, I saw all the students smiling. I was selected. Nobody mocked me as I had feared. Nobody noticed my pimples.

That moment I realised that pimples were not my enemy; my real enemy was my negative thought. I learned a new lesson that I should steer clear of negative thoughts and focus on positivity. These days I meditate, read books or even run to keep myself occupied so as to avoid negative thoughts.

The world became a much easier place to live in when I saw it the right way. I learned that the root of every problem is the way one perceives and deal with the situation. From then, a new me was born.

Every situation has its own learning. My battle with acne has taught me that our physical features, whether good or bad, do not determine our self-worth. My encounter with skin-based shame led me to realise that self-worth has to first originate from within because that’s where we find our lasting beauty and truest self. When my vanity goes unchecked, and insecurities boil over, I remind myself that there’s much more to life than appearance.

My pimples, once a curse, were blessing in disguise. There is nothing wrong in being different.