Divided we may lose our way, united we’re a family

I love to live with my parents whenever and wherever possible. No matter how much I earn, the joy and pleasure is always greater when I receive my pocket money from them. Talks around the dining table, discussions on political affairs, back-biting about others are great way to pass time with family members. And specially sharing with them what happened at work is always a pleasure. My family members are great friends of mine, with whom I can share all my feelings, plans and achievements without any fear that they will be unhappy or the jealous and create any obstacles. I love you mum and dad.

— Prakriti Pokhrel, Sanepa

Yes, in Nepal, most of the families are extended comprising grandchildren, parents and grandparents living in the same house, whereas in the West, adults above 18 generally leave their parents’ homes in order to pursue their higher studies, to develop their career as well as to be self-dependent. However, we cannot neglect the fact that those young adults in the West get part-time jobs easily, are partially sponsored by the government for their study expenses and are also able to get ‘study loans’ and ‘unemployment compensation’ if need be. Whereas here, people above 18 kicked out of their parents houses would not only suffer from unemployment but also might have to discontinue their studies just because only a full-time job would cover their living expenses. Even though I like the westerners’ view of standing on their own feet after 18, given the financial condition and job insecurity in our motherland, I rather prefer to live with my parents with their support even at this age of 23.

— Cool Cristofer, Lake Side

I like to live with my parents because not only in Hindu religion, but in all religions, it is said that they are living Gods on earth which we can see with our eyes. We need their blessings to get success in our work and personal life too, but for this we visit temples and pray everyday. Their loving countenance and blessings encourage us and we walk over the tough hurdles. And the second and most important reason is that they have taken care of us when we were little and incapable to do anything on our own, and later they need us and we have to return them what we have received from them. This is the universal law.

— Sujit Chaudhary

As we Nepalis take decision from heart, I cannot betray my parents, leaving them alone at old age. Remembering the love that they gave me when I was child, I would love to share my love with my parents through my kids when they are alone and be their walking stick to rely in at their old age.

— Awan K Shrestha, Khwopa Engineering College

I think it is better for someone to leave their home in order to be independent. The outside world isn’t going to pamper you like your family members, so it would be less embarrassing for you to come crying home to your mum when you’re 18 rather than running 30 thirty and still needing your mum to do your socks. It’s not that people who live in a family are always so dependant but there certainly is a difference when compared to kids who move out and struggle for themselves. There are good many young people who go abroad for further studies or work, and come back homesick. Nothing as such would’ve happened had they been bred strong and independent. But, having your own space doesn’t mean dumping your parents at a home when they get old or sick or need you the most. So I’d prefer, leaving home in order to pursue one’s career and having your parents to stay with you when you’ve settled.

— Rhea Gurung, Shital Marg, Maharajgunj

As a native of an eastern world I support a joint family system. We are brought up in this premise where we prefer to live with our parents and grandparents. Our culture and tradition teaches us that we should remain together. There are lots of positive aspects of living together. Joint family means cooperation, support, cohesiveness and dedication towards each other which also helps to build mental strength which can further increase our confidence. We get support from our family members when someone is in problem, faces difficulties or when someone is trying to do something new. But the westerners cannot expect such things. When they fall ill, there is nobody to support them morally and physically, whatever they do is their own decision. In our case dependency can rap us for a long time degrading one’s creativity. But now there is a gradual increase that children are feeling a sense of responsibility that they should do something to make their parents happy.

— Shambhu Khadka, Jorpati

Since I am a Nepali boy I would definitely opt for the first trend because I feel that parents are the most precious of all things we have. They are the ones because of whom we are in this world as well as successful in life. I don’t understand what kind of heart those children have who decide to live separately from their parents. When one person gets married and has children, those children are the ones he loves the most and will try to do the best for them and make them something in life. They keep on dreaming about their future. Suddenly when it’s time for parents to rest at home and enjoy time with their grand children, their son comes and tells them that he wants to live separately. This would hurt them too much and they will feel very insulted. So, I would never opt to live separately from my parents. Just imagine that after a few years you have to be a parent, you will get retired, you will have kids, and you could also be treated like that by your kids. How will that hurt you... just think and always maker your parents your first priority even if you are 50 years old.

— Prakash KC ‘Anuragi’, KMC College

We Nepalis are devoted to our parents and we prefer to live with them even after we get married. When we do so, it ultimately shows our love and affection towards them. We adore our parents as our true mentors, friends and guide. When we are born we learn from our parents and when we grow up we have the responsibility to support them.

I would prefer living with my own parents because even after being self-reliant I want to serve, support and take care of them throughout their difficult paths. When we are living with our parents we have the feeling of security, love and affection. They have worked hard and given us every kind of moral support to pave our way so it would later be my duty to do something for my beloved parents

— Sitosna Rai

Although I live with my family and I love my family very much, I prefer the trend of western countries. I am doing my Bachelors in Engineering. Right now I am partially dependent on my family, for my studies, my pocket money and other necessities. But my friends who are in UK, US and Australia, are self-dependent, earn money for their daily expenditure, studies and also send some amount of money for their family back home.

— Surendra Pandit, National College of Engineering

Both trends in their own ways and in their own places are correct. But I would choose the trend of our country because after we cross the age of 18, we still are living a student’s life. So, if as a student we are not guided properly, we may spoil our entire life. There are teachers, institutional places from where we can get good guidance but that guidance will never come close to the guidance we receive from our parents. So, if we stay with our parents, get married and have children, then in the future when our parents become old we can look after them and give them support. In this way we can repay some of the kindness which they had given us when we were little. This is a golden opportunity for the children.

— Nirusha Regmi

I prefer living an independent life and living separately from my family because it will help me become self-sufficient. If everyone is self-sufficient, the country’s status will be high and everyone will lead a prosperous life. The country will develop. But in context of Nepal, it is impossible because in western society there are programmes where the state provides employment for people above18 but not here.

— Krishna Thapa