When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the evil who made you sad.

When you are blue, ... I’ll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile, ... I’ll know you finally got a date.

When you are scared, ... I will take the piss about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, ... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused, ... I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.

When you are sick, ... Stay the hell away from me until you’re well again. I don’t want whatever you have.

When you fall, ... I will point and laugh at you.

This is my oath, ...I pledge till the end.