Thoughts on marriage by unidentified married men:

• You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

• At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?” “Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”

• A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: “Husband Wanted” Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”

• When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

• A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

• A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” Father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying.”

• A young son asked, “Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?” Dad replied, “That happens in every country, son.”

• Then there was a woman who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I

got married, and by then, it was too late.”

• Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

• If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say — talk in your sleep.

• Just think, if it wasn’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

• First guy says, “My wife’s an angel!” Second guy remarks, “You’re lucky. Mine’s still alive.”