Things You Need To Know

•If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because that will REALLY throw you into a panic.

•Don’t drink and think because if you ever reach total enlightenment while you’re drinking a beer, beer will probably shoot out your nose.

•Sometimes you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are, or who the person is you’re talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.

•Life is an endless struggle, full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you

find a hair stylist you like.

•The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.