Actual sentences found in hospital patient charts:

• She is numb from her toes down.

• While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

• The skin was moist and dry.

• Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

• Patient was alert and unresponsive.

• Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

• She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

• I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.