Keep it in the can

Anger impedes our ability to be happy,

because anger and happiness are incompatible.

• Anger sends marriages and other family

relationships off-course.

• Anger reduces our social skills, compromising other relationships, too.

• Anger means lost business, because it destroys relationships.

• Anger also means losing business that you could have won in a more gracious mood.

• Anger leads to increased stress (ironic, since stress often increases anger).

• We make mistakes when we are angry, because anger makes it harder to process


People are beginning to wake up to the dangers of anger and the need for anger management skills and strategies. Many people find anger easy to control. Yes, they do get angry. Everybody does. But some people find anger easier to manage than others. More people need to develop anger management skills.

For those who have a tough time controlling their anger, an anger management plan might help. Think of this as your emotional control class, and try these self-help anger management tip:

Tip number one

Ask yourself this question: “Will the object of my anger matter 10 years from now?” Chances are, you will see things from a calmer perspective.

Tip number two

Ask yourself: “What is the worst consequence of the object of my anger?” If someone cut in front of you at the bookstore checkout, you will probably find that three minutes is not such a big deal.

Tip number three

Imagine yourself doing the same thing. Come on, admit that you sometimes cut in front of another driver, too ... sometimes by accident. Do you get angry at yourself?

Tip number four

Ask yourself this question: “Did that person do this to me on purpose?” In many cases, you will see that they were just careless or in a rush, and really did not mean you any harm.

Tip number five

Try counting to 10 before saying anything. This may not address the anger directly,

but it can minimise the damage you will do while angry.

Do not vent your anger. Sure, a couple of swift blows to your pillow might make you feel better (better, at least, than the same blows to the door), but research shows that “venting” anger only increases it. In fact, speaking or acting with any emotion simply rehearses, practices and builds that emotion.

If these tips do not help and you still feel you lack sufficient anger management skills, you might need some professional help, either in the form of a therapist specialising in anger management or a coach with a strong background in psychology. — Agencies