Peoplespeak : In search of Mr or Miss Perfect
What they show in movies is different from what life really is. The practical world is different and it is a known fact that nothing is perfect in our real world. Compromises are to made at every part of life, so why not in relationships? But there are things that cannot be forgiven. Dishonesty in the one thing that cannot be forgiven. There are always differences in personal habits, one’s likes and dislikes, and the way of living. These can be compromised upon, but unfaithfulness cannot be tolerated at all. A relationship needs to be transparent always without any fake promises from either side.
— Nirodha Neupane, Kalanki, Kathmandu
Life is real while films are fictitious. The other name of life is compromise. We need to compromise many things in life. As it is only in the movies that we see people getting their Mr and Miss Perfect, but in reality we have to accept things that we dislike. I have compromised on a number of things. He prohibited me from chatting with another boy and I hated it. But what can I do but listen to him and compromise?
And he gives more importance to his work than his family or me. And all I can do is accept this.
— Sabina Basnet,
You may think that you are perfect, but not necessarily will you find your perfect match. Eventually you will have to make compromises and this is quite different from reel life. To live a smooth life, understanding plays a vital role. Brazen behaviour, a patronising attitude and crossing the limits aren’t the attributes that one looks for in a partner. Playing mind games with the family and urging them on the wrong path is a no-no. And she should not be jealous.
— Ishmit Dahal, Gatthaghar
Perfect lives are fictitious and portrayed only in movies. It’s true that life seeks sacrifices and compromises from us, but it’s your thoughts and feelings that make the difference. Bad feelings and lack of a forgiving nature can cause you to see defects even in a perfect circle. One should learn to forgive and try to adjust with circumstances. One always tends to find faults in others, and as nothing is perfect, dissatisfaction occurs. No matter how bad we are, we expect the best our life partners. Demanding beyond our reach and what we deserve is destructive. So, don’t be destructive. See life from your best angle and make this world a better place to live. You will find it so beautiful.
It is very difficult to find perfection in the ‘imperfect world’ that we are living in. Therefore, movies are the best place to find Mr or Ms Perfect. In our real life, we really need to make or accept certain compromises in our partners even if we may not fully approve of them. However, compromise should not deprive us of happiness and peace of mind that we deserve. For me, honesty and loyalty are the most important things to be possessed by my partner. I believe we have got life to live just once so why not to live it to the fullest. And I know that in order to live my life in the best possible way, I need an honest and loyal partner who I can believe in and with whom I can share all my feelings. Thus, I would never be able to accept dishonesty and disloyalty in my partner.
— Subodh Kumar Bidari, Syuchatar
It is very hard to find Mr/Ms perfect in real life and compromises are to be made from both partners. I would like to choose one of my best friends who appreciates everything about me. If the girl tries to tell my secrets, is egoistic and thinks that might is right, I would never be able to accept such a type of partner. If a girl lies and deceives me that would be sufficient for me to break the relationship. and I would never forgive her for that.
— Shalik Kandel
We have to make compromises in relationships. However, if my partner doesn’t respect my thoughts and opinions and if he feels that only I should be making compromises to respect the relationship, I would never accept that. If he doesn’t seem to realise that he should also be fully committed and supportive in the relationship, I would feel that it is better to end the relationship.
— Krisha Amatya,
Every woman expects her partner to be loving, understanding and a respecting human being. He should provide her all opportunities that she deserves. But all our expectations cannot be met. Being a married woman, I have also made some compromises to lead a happy married life. But there are also some major things which I would never be able to accept in my husband or forgive him for it. The most unforgivable or unacceptable things can be physical and mental torture, sexual harassment, having extramarital affair and treating me as the inferior sex and not letting me enjoy my basic rights.
— Sarita Khanal, Tinkune
No one is perfect in this world. Physical drawbacks can be considered, but there would be zero tolerance if he is ill mannered towards females. From their look, we can see many handsome hunks who seem to be Mr Perfect, but taking a close look discloses their true colour. They are all obsessed with Don Juan DeMarco mentality. They can love females but can never allow equal grounds to her. So, when it comes to my partner, if he does not respect women in general, I will not expect it. I think honeymoon in married life will come and go, what remains forever is respect for each other. My dignity is more precious for me than anything else, so I will not compromise it.
— Dipa Baral
Marital life without compromise can not be imagined. And compromise is made in a bid to maintain a smooth relationship and keep family bond intact. I do not mind making compromises if it enhances family ties and brings happiness and prosperity in the family. But making compromises in each and every aspect can do more harm than fostering a better relationship between a couple. My partner despite being a thorough gentleman had bad habit of smoking and I had to fight with him almost every time he lit the cigarette. Finally, a day came when he himself realised that he was doing injustice to his own health and decided
to quit smoking. Had my partner not been able to overcome his weakness, I would perhaps have not forgiven him.
— Ambika Pandey,
The things that I feel are unacceptable in a relationship are disrespect for each other, trying not to understand each other, not caring to find what is wrong with you when you are down or sad or are about to cry, only wanting your partner to give in and never trying to give yourself, backlashing at each others parents or relatives in between arguments and quarrels, bringing up the past to humiliate one’s partner, insulting each other in front of other people or your own children, not showing how much your partner means to you and not respecting your partner’s family or relatives The unforgivable things are cheating and lying, doubting your partner when you are dishonest, being irresponsible but pretending to be very responsible, treating your partner as your slave, and not accepting your partner and forcing your partner to change according to your desires.
It is believed that life partners are made in the heaven. Married life is like an agreement only for betterment of the two. But bitterness overtakes betterment when one fails to meet the expectations of his/her partner, mistrusts one’s partner without any reason and doesn’t tell the truth. However, sometimes telling the truth may also lead to misunderstanding. So, one has to think carefully.
I do believe in giving forgiveness and not to let meaningless things hamper a relationship; however there are things which I will never feel easy to face. To see my wife having lot of passion to get success in her education and so on and ignoring my feelings is what I will never forgive and the time when she starts talking about her maternal home’s attributes, I feel quite terrible.
— Lokendra Dhakal
Every jodi is Rab Ne Bana De Jodi, but I would never be able to accept a partner is not my type, uneducated and is into drugs. But I can compromise in certain things like all people do in their partner. I wouldn’t mind accepting her previous affair with someone else and the habit of drinking and smoking but only if it is on special occasions.
— Kes Bahadur Pun, Pokhara
A good relationship is nothing more than one of compromises and understanding so I would accept her physical inability on certain tasks. But I wouldn’t forgive her if she cheated
on me. Trust and patience are the keys to hold a relation alive, which she should have.
— Bhimraj Poudel,
I would never compromise on any action taken by my partner which could degrade the relationship between us. I would never forgive my partner if anything personal between us is divulged to public. Anything or action taken by my partner which could hurt the feelings of people I regard and love; though I do not expect my partner to have the same feelings as I have for them but at least she should follow the basics. I will not forgive my partner if she ever makes mockery or nags me about my failures rather than giving me moral support and good advice.
— Deepak Dhall
I don’t think that there will be any Mr or Ms Perfect that will come and make our life perfect. In fact, life will be perfect when you will understand the motto of life and begin to enjoy it. Moreover, a relationship is not about compromise. It is about understanding and accommodating with each other’s lifestyle. So, I think that we should never ever try to change anyone in fact we need to adopt each other’s ways and appreciate each other.
— Ashish Singh