Read between the ads

Ad: Competitive Salary

Interpretation: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors

Ad: Fast Paced Company

Interpretation: We have no time to train you & you’ll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.

Ad: Casual Work Atmosphere

Interpretation: We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up

Ad: Must be Deadline Oriented

Interpretation: You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day

Ad: Must have an eye for detail

Interpretation: We have no quality control

Ad: Some overtime required some time each night & some time each weekend. Duties will vary

Interpretation: Anyone in the office can boss you around

Ad: College degree prefered

Interpretation: Unless you wasted those four years studying something useless like philosophy/English

Ad: No phone calls please

Interpretation: We’ve filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality

Ad: Seeking a candidate with a wide variety of experience

Interpretation: You’ll need to replace three people who just left

Ad: Requires team leadership skills

Interpretation: You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect

Ad: Good communication skills

Interpretation: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and then do it