Rabin Dahal

As I am a late sleeper, it was a nuisance for me to be woken up at 4:30 by an urgent call. I rushed to the hospital on learning that my best friend had been admitted to the emergency room after he had swallowed seventeen sulpha drugs in an attempt to put an end to his life. The ostensible reason was a crush that had broken his heart. His parents along with me could not resist the avalanche of tears. It was almost a nightmare — the doctors were running in and out and I could only read with perplexity the anxiety in their faces. I was already weak and the pain in his parents’ eyes gave me feelings of wrath towards my friend which forced me to think about emotional relationships. We, teenagers, are very likely to fall in love. More often than not they are one-sided affairs. However if the one we love says “no”, we do not accept it. The effect of Hindi movies has been so great that it merely helps in the preservation and promotion of fantasies and results only in nurturing false hopes in our minds. We have been taught right from our childhood that nothing is impossible and unachievable. Thus, the one we love becomes a target – a challenge — a mission for us — which we “must” achieve by any means. But is this pragmatic? The answer is a big NO. Why do we force someone to love us? If we really love him/her, then it is our love that will make us respect his/her decision. It’s not that if we love someone she/he has to love us. Love must be both sided for its existence. It is involuntary and hence we can’t make someone love us simply by giving gifts or saying “I love you”. We must learn to brand him/her as

“unachievable” and try to forget him/her. Though forgetting the one we love is very hard, we need to look ahead. By following “RULES” or attempting suicide we only lose our time and risk ourselves. Why can’t we youngsters, esp. teenagers, realise the love that is so much around us? What thoughts “compel” us to suicide for someone unknown to us before few months than to live for our parents, relatives and friends who have seen their dreams in us? We must work for the materialisation and realisation of their dreams if we do not have ours.

By killing ourselves what are we going to prove — depict us as the greatest “lovers” or losers?

If we cannot love life we cannot love anyone. If we cannot create life, we have no right to destroy it. My friend survived — thanks to the competent doctors. Later, when I was allowed in his room, I chatted with him. It was time for me to leave the hospital. Though I only managed to say “get well soon” I had a deep longing in my heart to say “grow up, you kid!”