Simpson launches shorts line

HOLLYWOOD: Former reality show subject, failed actress, failed singer, and alleged designer, Jessica Simpson, who successfully expanded her figure this year and is hoping to do the same with her list of endorsements, is pictured outside a Dollar General Store at the launch of her new line of short shorts.

Simpson forgot the brand name of the shorts and is shown above asking stunned store employees to help her remember.

Horrified potential customers hurried to cross the street when Ms. Simpson threatened, "You'll look just like me are these shorts called again?"

The shorts are called "Jessica Simpson's Daisy Duke Delusions" and will be available exclusively through Dollar General and truck stop gift shops.