TALK TO ME: Always be prepared for a break-up

Ex blues

I have been going around with this guy for three years now. Recently I found him chatting with his ex-girlfriend. We live together so I check his emails too. The last time I checked, his ex-girlfriend had written to him. The mail was not friendly one. I think he is trying to get back with her. I love him but am sacred to confront him. He might just start quarrelling and leave me for suspecting him, which I don’t want that to happen. What do I do? — Troubled

Dear Troubled,

What a pickle you are in! What can you say or do in such a situation? I suggest you keep mum. The only advantage you may have gained by snooping is that you can mentally prepare yourself for a possible break-up with your boyfriend in the future. Now that you know a break-up could be a possibility, be wise if you want to keep your man. Don’t be an obsessive snoop. There maybe certain things that your boyfriend needs to sort out with his ex for his own emotional security. Don’t let your insecurities defeat you and reduce you to a blubbery emotional wreck. If you want to keep this man, start devising intelligent strategies to keep him in love with you.

Is this love?

Seven years back we were classmates and were good friends, too. But after we left school we drifted apart and failed to keep in touch. But after five years, we suddenly met at a party. She was looking gorgeous. We spoke to each other. She told me that she likes one boy, and I have a girlfriend. But we are somehow attracted to each other and I really care for her and like her a lot. But then she has boyfriend. I am happy we are friends, but now she has gone to the US and I am really missing her lot. Is this love? — Abhinay Jayaswal

Dear Abhinay,

You sound like the love bug has bitten you. However, I wouldn’t spend my time pining for her as 1. She already has a boyfriend; 2. Just because she looks gorgeous now and is nice to you, it doesn’t mean that she has been bitten by the same love bug! 3. It’s going to be difficult

to woo a friend, from such a distance with success; 4. It is normal for anyone to miss good friends. Bottomline you will get over her.

Love’s in the air

I have been in love with a friend of mine for three years. I haven’t told her about my feelings for fear that she might reject it. She has been rejecting other guys’ proposals, so I am scared I’ll lose her as a friend. I am in a big fix. — Summit

Dear Summit,

Sounds your friend is the hottest girl in town considering all your friends have been smitten and proposed to her. Since she has rejected many a proposal, I can understand that you are nervous. Has she given you any indication that she may be interested in you? Golden rule is to pop the question only when the feeling is mutual.

Should I?

I am studying in class XII and fell in love with a simple and beautiful girl last year. I like her very much but cannot even speak in front of her. We study in same college. I think she knows that I like her but I am not sure. I cannot express my feeling to her. But I think of her so often that I feel this will hamper in my studies. What should I do? — Capital

Dear Capital,

You sound simpler than this beautiful girl as you have not been able “to speak in front of her!” Considering that you are both in the same school, in the same class, all opportunities to make conservation and strike up a good friendship is right there for you. Use these opportunities. Be focussed. Don’t let you studies get affected. If you find that you are still tongue-tied before the love of your life, woo her with a song!

Tricky and sticky

We have been friends for many years. He is so kind and helpful. He gives me company when I am alone and he helps me when I am in trouble. I am falling in love with this guy. But he is married with a son. I know it is not advisable to fall in love with him, but I can’t stop myself feeling that way for him. He says he cannot live without me and I make his world complete. I am so depressed and confused. What should I do? We can’t get married as our parents won’t accept our relationship. My mom had warned me not to get close to him as he is from a low caste. This has hampered my studies. Please help me! — Anamika

Dear Anamika,

Tricky, sticky situation. I understand that you might make this man’s world “complete”. However, the only thing I see for you is a future “completely” saddled with problems. This man has insinuated himself in your life in your lonely hours...seducing you with his acts of kindness. Be wise the man is married, his wife is not dead, and he is cheating on his spouse from, who has begotten him an offspring. He certainly sounds like he is on an ego trip — fancying himself as the husband of two doting women. Cut loose and break free. Concentrate on your studies. You have a whole life ahead of you.