Vegan love

I am 20 in love with a lovely girl. She likes me but refuses to say yes as she says we belong to different castes and cultures. She is a vegetarian, and I am ready to be one. How can I convince her I am serious about her. — Deewana

Dear Deewana,

Looks like besides the meat, you are going to be meet other problems with this girl. While it is very laudable you are prepared to eat spinach for the rest of your life to be with the girl of your dreams, the fact is that you cannot change your family name and suddenly pretend to belong to a different caste or cultural group. From what you reveal, your dream girl isn’t jumping up and down with joy at the prospect of initiating a relationship with you. The issues of caste and culture seem to very important to her. There has to be a letting go on both sides for this relationship to be plausible, wh-at is she ready to give up?

Friendship gone sour

I am a teenage girl and I have a friend with whom I’ve known since childhood. We study in same school and stay in the same hostel. Our friends began linking our names and teasing us. Maybe because of this, I developed special feelings for him. I thought he also felt the same way about me. The teasing went on for a few years. But one day, he told me he doesn’t like people teasing us and just wants to be friends with me. We had a bitter quarrel. Since then I have started hating him and don’t want to see his face. But as we stay in the same hostel, I keep bumping into him. He is always watching me and I think he is trying to look for new reasons to quarrel with me. What should I do? Please help me. — Namcho

Dear Namcho,

Have you considered the impact of peer pressure? Perhaps it is this pressure that has unconsciously influenced you and made you misinterpret your friendship with this boy. Rejection at any age is painful. However, you have to appreciate the fact that this boy was frank enough to tell you his feelings for you did not go beyond the boundaries of friendship. The reason why you feel he is constantly watching you is a reflection of your insecurity. It would be worth your while to put this argument behind you and begin your relationship with him afresh, considering that you both go to the same school and stay in the same hostel. Good friends are hard to come by... learn to value friendships.

Guy shy

I am 17 and my major problem is I am very shy. And I am doubly shy around guys though I have no problem talking with my brother. I cannot talk with guys. Whenever I try to, I get nervous and some stupid thing comes out my mouth. I can’t handle this. I can’t even do anything by myself. What should I do to keep ever-ything fine? — Shy girl

Dear Shy Girl,

I am relieved to learn you have no problems talking with your own brother! To begin with, why don’t you treat the other boys you meet like you your brother? This may help you to deconstruct the the mystery of the opposite sex. You don’t have to impress the boys with great pearls of wisdom. Remember that these boys are not waiting for you to spout great pearls of wisdom or say something devastatingly sexy or funny. Some of them may be as shy as you. So learn to let go and go with flow.