Lover girl:

I love a gal from my college. We were not close a few months ago and we hardly ever talked to each other. But we fell in love, started dating and became intimate physically. We did not have any secrets and she had also told me that she was engaged to some other guy, but that didn’t matter as we loved each other. However, a month ago, she went to meet him and after that she has changed a lot. She hardly calls me nowadays. I cannot understand what is happening. I just hope she does not want to break this relationship because I love her too much. I’m in confused what do I do?

— Confused guy

Dear Confused Guy,

You are in a very tricky situation and so before you hurt yourself even more, take a reality check — moocho quick.Though this girl is already engaged to someone else, she was either foolish or confused enough to have had a dalliance with you.The sad reality is that she was never yours to begin with. You noted that she has changed after her visit to her fiance and hardly calls you now. Perhaps this is a polite way of telling you ‘it’s over’. It is time for you to back off gracefully and maintain your dignity. Cherish the memory of the relationship and move on. Next time round, don’t get tangled with a woman who is not engaged to you.

Love ‘s weight:

I saw a girl a year ago and fell in love with her instantly. She is a year younger to me. I have not been able to talk to her despite the feelings I have for her. This is because I am quite fat and this is the first time I have had these kinds of feelings. I have seen other beautiful girls but not anyone as beautiful as she. I cannot forget her and I do have courage to speak to her. What should I do?

— Mr Obese 

Dear Mr Obese,

If you do have the courage to speak to her, why don’t you? Verbal communication has amazing power, it can open many doors. Perhaps this obsession can develop into a meaningful friendship if you initiate dialogue. Remember that it is important that you do not get confused by high expectations. This can make you stumble. Just go with the flow and get to know this girl. Dazzle her with your sensitivity and charm. Your extra weight should not hinder or dampen your spirit in any way.

Man in dilemma:

I am a 30-year-old male and have been teaching in college. I am in love with a girl and she too loves me. We’ve had a physical relationship too. But then there is a woman with two kids and she claims them to be mine. She even went to the extent of going to her house and saying that she is my wife and that I have been spoiling her life. Her relatives even came and threatened me. It is almost two weeks we have not met each other. I have many things to tell her but have not met her. What could be the suitable solution to my problem? I want to marry her. What should I do?

— RN ach

Dear RN ach,

So what is the truth here? Who is this woman who claims to have borne your offspring? Is she your legally wedded wife or someone you had casual sex with? Considering that you have produced a couple of children from this liaison, you have to face your responsibilities. You cannot pretend you did not know this woman or hide from the fact that you have produced these children. If you had unprotected sex with her and you are doubtful about the real parentage of these children, ask for a DNA test. Sort out the issue once and for all. If the test is positive, you may lose the girl you are so besotted with. This is something you will have to accept. I also hope that this girl and you had safe sex otherwise she is going to hound you as well with your children in tow.

Crush on my neighbour:

I am teenage girl. Last month I saw this guy, who is also my neighbour, and have a deep crush for him. We met during the summer vacation and he showed some interest in me. But now he has gone abroad for studies and he will be here only another year. I miss him a lot but I don’t have his contact number. I also heard from my friends that he has a girlfriend and that makes me very sad. I do not want to lose him. What do I do?

— Water Girl 

Dear Water Girl,

Take a really cold shower and wake up from your reverie. Learn to face facts. This boy has another girlfriend, he is not even in this country and will not be back in another God knows how many years. Furthermore, you should not base your present angst and focus on the memory of a brief summer holiday. I don’t think sadness is an emotion that you need to get bogged down with. Learning to let go is a very important lesson. Get busy, learn some new skills, meet knew friends. With time you will get over him. Life is too short to sit around and mope.

Waiting for you:

I’m a boy studying in grade XII and love a girl who is in my class. She is a good friend of mine and that is one reason why I failed to propose to her. When I mustered all my courage and proposed, she refused saying that were are friends. It was the hardest thing I ever did. I call her everyday these days. If I don’t, then I feel as if I haven’t done something very important, as if something is missing. But I don’t want her to be in any trouble. Should I call her like that? I just want her to be happy but I don’t want to lose her. We talk for at least half-an-hour and I feel my best in those moments. I will wait till she too falls in love with me. What can I do to make her fall in love with me?

— Desperate

Dear Desperate,

I am glad to reaffirm that true love is worth the wait. But remember this, patience is a virtue only if you don’t die of boredom. How long are you prepared to wait? Besides waiting for this girl to fall in love with you, I hope you will occupy yourself with other useful activities.

Got any problems regarding your personal life, career or academics and want answers to? Mail Sangeeta Thapa at features@thehimalayantimes.com