Talk to me : Look before you love

Jealous gal

I am 20 and I am in love with a guy who is in love with another girl. The problem is that though he belongs to this other girl I would like to have an affair with him. Whenever I see them together, I get jealous and become so furious that I could actually bite her. I know this is not healthy but don’t know how to handle my feelings. What should I do? — Monika

Dear Monika,

You must learn to get a grip on your emotions and come to terms with reality. This guy is not your yours to begin with. Your obsession has disturbing psychological undertones. It is good you understand you need to keep a check on your emotions. Learn to discipline your emotions before an unpleasant incident occurs. Do not let the power of your feelings get the better of you. Biting this other girl is kinda disgusting. You will only succeed in making everyone, including this guy, think you are a real sick whacko. Do you want to embarrass yourself?

Catch 22

I sat for my SLC recently. When I was in grade VII, there was a girl who liked me and she proposed to me. But I was in love with another girl. I liked the girl who proposed to me too, so I told her we can be good friends and she accepted. The girl I was in love with betrayed me. The girl who proposed to me and I were in the same section for two years. I knew she had another boyfriend but still I proposed to her. She refused and she avoids me these days. Now I keep thinking about her. What should I do? — Prince of Insomnia

Dear Sleepless Prince,

You need to understand that an infatuation that began in grade VII (I presume you were 12 at that time) has a short life span. The fluctuating hormonal levels in adolescents and teenagers can result in a variety of emotions which cause their share of problems and anxieties. Have you analysed what is really bothering you... the rejection or the embarrassment of the rejection? The very first crush or a relationship has a special place in everyone’s heart. Notch it down to experience and remember there will always be other girls you can propose to. You are spending sleepless nights over a girl you initially rejected and proposed to when when you were dejected and on the rebound. I suggest you give this girl sometime to get over the audacity of your proposal — considering the fact you knew she had a boyfriend. If you do not want to lose her friendship, a personal apology or a letter could clear the misunderstanding and win back your friendship.