Boxed in:

My best friend and I love the same guy. He is my classmate and close friend. Once I saw him with another girl and I was jealous, so I accepted the love of a senior. Now he knows about my affair and I think because of it he’ll never propose. What should I do? Sacrifice my love to my friend? Tell him I love him? Compromise with the senior? Help!

— Dixya Joshi

Dear Dixya

This guy will NOT propose to you because you have already accepted the “love” of a senior. Considering he is a classmate and a close friend... he will respect the choices you have made. Don’t confound him with your confusion. Give yourself time, you are young and there

should be no rush to get into a relationship.

Stalled:

I’m 17 and I have just started my career in the faculty of management. I want to really work hard to do well, but I have to spend a lot of time working in my uncle’s stall. They don’t listen to me when I tell then what I want. Yet I have my own dreams and ambitions and plan to see myself in a certain role, doing what I really want to do and being the real person that I am in the not-so-far future. This last month I have made no progress in my career and I’m worried about my future. Please guide me.

— Abhay

Dear Abhay,

I can understand your worries. As you know your uncle better than we do, find a more creative solution to make him comprehend that the hours you are putting into his shop is hampering the progress in your career.To succeed in your career and workplace you need to devise a strategy where you can still maintain your performance in the faculty of manangement and at work. Both places will provide you excellent learning and hands on experiences in management. Set goals and tagerts, overcome your frustrations with skillful time mamagement

Miss Complicated:

I met a woman eight months ago and we fell in love. Now she ignores me while saying that she loves me and promising that she can’t think of any other man save myself in an intimate role. Yet she gets irritated if I call often and she never wants to see me. She has even warned me that if her parents want it to be so, she will leave me. Luckily they are happy to leave the decision up to her. She is uncomfortable if I talk to people about our relationship. Should we marry? If not, then I should leave so she can get on with her life and forget me. Much as I respect women and think them as serious and not frivolous personalities, her behaviour has confounded me and raised more than a single doubt in my mind. This is only because I cannot fathom a single rational reason for her strange behaviour. Please help me find a way out of my dilemma.

— Smart SST

Dear Smart SST,

Be smart and give this lady the dump....you need to get on with your life and forget her. Your exsessive ardour and infatuation seem to have put her off you . Go easy next time round and find someone else who can match your urges and boundless enthusiasm.

Shy guy:

I am a good student and work hard to make my life better, but I lack confidence with people and that includes my peers and friends. It seems that I am mortally afraid of public speaking. When I am in front of a large group, even at school, I just can’t speak. I think of many things that would add to the discussion, but I can never open my mouth in time. Is there anything I can do to boost my confidence and my skills in communication that seems to be so linked to the C-word?

— Scared of Speaking

Dear Scared of Speaking,

It might help you to know that some of the greatest political orators were very shy individuals who mastered their public speaking skills with time.To begin with write down what you want to stay and try reading your quesions out...sing loudly in the shower, learn some poems and recite them in front of a mirror and later, to a small group of your close friends.Learn to voice your opinions at home and then in the classroom.You can even jump into the deep end by joining the debate team in school.

Touching letter:

I am 17 years old and I have a problem with men. Whenever one talks to me I become so excited I want to touch him. I know I don’t have to do this. What should I do to curb this habit?

— Angel

Dear Angel,

You sound like you have just escaped a repressive single sex school and an equally repressive family home. Interacting with men is a very natural and normal phenomena, they are ordinary human beings like you and me and sometimes from the very same planet. If you are keen on maintaining your Angel status, I suggest you refrain from touching the men you are engaged in converation with. Learnt to control your exitement and enthusiam with some yoga or, perhaps, chewing a gum. Try and meet your male friends with a group of your female friends and take cues from their behavioural responses to men.

Worried about your poor scores? Confused with your ‘issues’ and choices? Want to catch the attention of that girl you fancy but don’t know where to begin? Summarise your circumstances to Sangeeta Thapa at talk2me@thehimalayantimes.com and await a bright solution.