Concentration problem:

I can’t understand what’s going on with me. My final exams are coming and I have not prepared anything at all. It is not that I do not want to study and hold a degree. But I can’t seem to concentrate on my studies. I can read newspapers or any other magazine with lots of concentration except my books. How can I concentrate on my studies?

— Tensed 

Dear Tensed,

You will get more tense if you fail your exams. So, snap out of your apathy and get cracking with your studies. You might be in denial about your exams or you might think you know ever-ything — be real. Get a calender and start penciling in study and revision hours. Find friends with wh-om you can form a study group. If you are uncomfortable with a group, enlist yourself for tutorials. To avoid more tension, save your self from the national malaise of leaving things to the absolute last moment, and act now.

Love hurts:

I met a girl on the net some months ago. When we got to speak over the phone, she said that I sound like one of her friends. Later on she told me that I sound like the guy she used to love. Soon we became friends, but when we actually met I could not speak to her out of nervousness. Then one day I proposed to her and she accepted. We hardly used to meet but talked a lot over the phone. One day her mother caught her speaking over the phone to my brother. She got a proper thrashing. After that she said she would not be able to continue with the relationship. But we remained friends. I love her very much but then she is leaving for the US after SLC. I cannot even spend time with her. What do I do? I cannot forget her.

— Disappointed Soul

Dear Disappointed Soul,

Your relationship with this girl is based on the chatline, on phonecalls and a few visits... for which she received a “proper thrashing”. YIKES!!! But this is Nepal.This girl has also confirmed that she would not be able to continue with the relationship and and is leaving for America. I think the time has come for you to face the facts and understand that you are investing too much into this relationship. Be glad that you are still friends. Keep in touch with her (use the net) but don’t hassle her with your emotions. Love means the feeling has got to be mutual. Base your correspondence on her reactions and see how it goes. Time, distance and your perseverance will decide the ultimate course of this relationship. For the time being, I suggest you get busy with activities, academics or sports. Learning to let go is an art in itself.

Lost love:

I am a girl of 16 and I love this boy from my class. I never expressed my feelings for him, and since SLC has ended we have lost contact. I am really scared to propose to him even if I get his contact number but I can’t even think of life without him. Could you suggest me a way where I do not have to propose to him but can go around with him? Please don’t tell me to forget him because I cannot do that.

— Nilima Sharma

Dear Ms Sharma,

You are just 16 years old. You have a whole life ahead of you — college, university et cetera. You must have some goals for the future other than the visions you might be having of this boy and you sailing into the sunset. Call me ‘old fashioned’ but it is always nice when a guy does the proposing. How about using your school network to get his phone number? Give him a friendly call. If he feels the same way about you, he will start calling you up. Don’t rush things and take it easy.

Playing hard to get:

I am a model and I travel a lot. I met this Kashmiri boy some three years ago in Pokhara. I fell head over heels in love with him. When I came back, he mailed me saying that he too had fallen for me. But I wanted to test him, so I refused his proposal. I thought he would come after me but then I was proved wrong. Later when I confessed this to him he refused to believe me. But we remained friends. He told me he has a girlfriend and I lost all hope. Recently I came to know that they have broken up. Do you think I should propose to him again? Is there a chance of him coming back into my life?

— Preety

Dear Preety,

Quit playing games with my heart...remember that song? No more games please. If you still love this man and you know for a fact that he has broken up with his girlfriend, it is time you reviewed the situation. As you are still good friends, take the liberty of calling him up but do not make the mistake of proposing to him. Tell him that you are sorry to hear that he has broken up with his girlfriend. Be gentle and understanding. Give him some time to recover from the break up. Use a suitable opportunity to let him know how much you still love him. His reaction to your feelings will give you an indication of what you can expect.

Got any problems regarding your personal life, career or academics and want answers to?Mail Sangeeta Thapa at features@thehimalayantimes.com