Talk to me : Tackling life’s ups and downs

Face value

I am 17 and studying in Class XII. My problem is I don’t have a girlfriend. There is a girl called Nisha but when I saw her I was shocked because she was not pretty to look at. We keep in touch through phonecalls but I am looking for a beautiful girl, someone who can add charm to my life. Should I leave N? — Madly-mad in love

Dear Madly Mad in Love,

Quit playing games with her heart. If your criteria for a relationship is beauty, why are you dabbling with N? You are calling N just because you don’t have a girlfriend. However, it is quite clear the minute someone pretty comes around you will drop the hapless N, who may be blissfully thinking she has found her true love! Be aware that beauty is an illusion. The true beauty of a person is reflected in their personality, their thoughts, words and actions. If this is hard for you to cipher and you cannot get about your duties

with some beauties dangling on your arm, you must make the break with N as gently as possible. Consider how

would you feel if your beautiful girlfriend dumped you for a better looking guy who could add charm to her life.

Cooling off

I have a good friend Asmita, who is very close and frank. But lately she’s been acting kind of aloof and cold with me. I don’t know why. I am crazy about her. Can you give me a way to bring her close to me again? — Nelly

Dear Nelly,

Have you analysed why Asmita has suddenly begun to act aloof and cold with you? Go over your actions carefully — have you taken her closeness and frankness for granted? Was it something you said or did? You can develop strategies for getting close again, and make amends only after you understand the crux of her dissatisfaction.