Is this love?

There is a girl in my class with whom I’ m very impressed. I want to talk to her but have not been able to. She is mostly with her friends or in a group so I don’t get the opportunity to talk to her. I just enjoy looking at her and sometimes I see her smiling at me. There are other girls in the class more beautiful then her, but she is the ultimate. I don’t know what is happening to me and what I have to do now. Is this love?

— Da Tajj

Dear Tajj,

You have developed a crush on this girl. It is very normal for boys and girls to be attracted to each other. It is up to you to you decide whether you want to gad about deliriously like a besotted Romeo with your head in the clouds or whether you want to win the affection of the girl of you dreams. Forget our Neanderthal ancestry, the days when an enamoured male would drag the object of his desire into a cave are long over. To win the girl of your dreams, the golden rule is that you have to speak to her first. Smiling and beaming at each other is not enough.

Trying again:

I am a girl of 21. A boy first proposed to me five-and-half-years ago, and after three years I said yes. Our relationship continued for about one-and-half years and he was caring and understanding. Then we had a misunderstanding and now we have not met each other for a nearly year. I want to contact him. I know his telephone number but his mother does not allow me to talk to him. I don’t know why she is doing this. I don’t know his friends and neither do I have his email address. What do I do? How can I contact him?

— Nepali Gal

Dear Nepali Gal,

I am suprised that you did not clear up the misunderstanding immediately. A year is a long time to let things go. If you still care for him, be inventive — think of a way in which you can either meet or talk. To continue in a relationship without communication and passion is like flogging a dead horse.

Befuddled:

I’m a confused guy. Moreover I’m unsatisfied. With what, I don’t know. I’m 21 from a middleclass family. Since childhood we were brought up in a pampered environment. We even got the best and expensive education. So I have no complaints about my parents. The condition of the country: political, economical, social annoys me a lot. Sometimes I think I am in this confused and unsatisfied state because I am educated and know a little much about the developed countries and expect and want the same here. Am I overreacting to what is going on?

— Confused

Dear Confused,

You are not over reacting. A good citizen should feel deeply for the plight of his or her country. Besides the emotional quotient, one also needs to be realistic and take into consideration the stark economic, political and social realities that govern the way a country functions. The fact that you are confused and dissatisfied is a good reaction. Turn these feelings into a positive energy by working to improve the situation on your country in whatever way you can. You do not to be a politician to impact change and development. What use is your expensive education if you cannot come up with novel ways to help your battered and suffering Motherland?

Proposing dilemma:

I study in grade XI and I like a girl who studies in grade IX. From her friends I have come to know that she likes me too. Nowadays she often comes in my dreams. She is the most beautiful girl I can think of. I don’t know if she will accept my proposal. I am afraid that it could even end the friendship we share. What do I do?

— Pariwartan

Dear Pariwartan,

You have a mega crush on this girl! The good news is she likes you too. However, I suggest that you do not jump the gun and propose right away. Courting a loved one adds to the romance. Hurry makes no curry... begin a committed friendship and see where that takes you. Proposals should be made only when there is a surety that they will be accepted joyfully, otherwise it kind of defeats the purpose.

Awkward:

Recently I had joined tuition. I am the only boy in the class. I don’t know the girls of my class. So I feel very lonely due to which I have not been able to concentrate in my studies. My problem is that I don’t know how to talk with girls and I feel nervous when I face them. How I can start talking with them and be their friend so that I can enjoy the class.

— Silencer

Dear Silencer,

The girls in your class have not landed from Mars. They are human beings too. Like you they need tuition to cover areas of weakness in their study. So get on with it, treat them like you would your friends in school. These girls are not going to jump on you and bite you. They are there for a purpose and that purpose is study. If you get stuck with being nervous and shy, your tuition classes won’t be fruitful. You have more to gain physically, mentally and academically by opening up.

Got any problems regarding your personal life, career or academics and want answers to?Mail Sangeeta Thapa at features@thehimalayantimes.com