TALK TO ME: Talking things out helps

Wasted year?

I am a science student and have just completed Class XII. I tried to get scholarship at the Pulchowk Engineering Campus, but did not get it. Now I am planning to wait for another year, but have no any idea as to what I should do in this gap year. Many people have suggested different things but I am not convinced about their ideas. Could you suggest something that is useful that will not make me feel as if I have wasted one entire year?

— Confused

Dear confused

First of all, what kind of engineering programme are you involved with? What about interning in an office or if not, volunteering somewhere that is connected to your sphere of professional interest? Work to build a good resume and learn skills that will put you ahead with your academic programme and personal growth.

Shy mom:

My mom used to teach Nepali at a government school for the last 25 years but this year the school introduced English as one of the subjects. Now they have asked her to teach English classes, with which she is not comfortable. She has studied the subject only till SLC and is quite weak in it. She did request the administration but then they did not listen to her. I asked her to join my college but then she is too shy. What should she do?

— Daughter

Dear Daughter

It is not good that your mother is being forced to teach something she is not comfortable. However, you have not stated at what level she is supposed to teach in English. Are her students in elementary school? Then this should not pose a problem. However, if she is teaching high school children this is a different issue all together. I don’t think its a wise idea

for your mother to go to school with you as this could cost her the respect and esteem of her students and fellow teachers. I suggest that you help her with her English and maybe even ask her to take some English classes in private. This will help her, not only in school, but even otherwise. If she still finds teaching in English uncomfortable, I suggest that she should talk to the school and tell them that she can only teach what she is good at.

Teasing is a problem:

I am a school-going girl. There is a boy in my school. We were good friends. But now-a-days our friends tease us saying that there is something going on between us, when actually there isn’t. Because of this teasing, he thinks I am in love with him. Now he does not even talk with though we have been good friends for some time. I am mentally disturbed and I feel it will also started hampering my study. I just want to get away from this stuff. Please do help me.

— Disturbed girl

Dear Disturbed Girl

I think the teasing has really disturbed both of you and disrupted your friendship. I think you should talk to him first. Tell him that you value his friendship and that you are keen to remain friends. If he is such a good friend of yours, he should believe you and rise above the allegations and teasing by your peers. It is important that both of you face your friends together and tell them that they are being juvenile. If your friend is still uncomfortable and avoids you after this dump him, you have nothing to loose. You have your studies to focus on and better things to do than wallowing in this “stuff”.

Date on net:

I have been chatting on the net with this guy for about two years now. He is studying in the US and we met once when he came down for holidays. He proposed to me recently. But the main problem is I don’t know how I really feel for him, and at the same time I do not want to end this friendship. I have told him about what I feel but then he keeps hinting me that he still has feelings for me. I feel bad that I hurt him. What should I do? Should I continue this relationship?

— Supriya.

Dear Supriya

This boy seems to give the impression that he wants to be with you, but you understandably uncertain about your feelings and his proposal. Do not keep him waiting for long, because it will just hurt him more. Learn to be sensitive. Emotions are emotions after all, even if they are hanging around in cyber space. Tell him that his proposal seems unrealistic because you have only met him once. Confirm that you are ready to be friends but the idea of carrying a relationship based on one encounter and many hours of chatting seem unrealistic to you.

Friends and lovers:

My friends are usually plagued with the problem of rejecting or accepting proposals from guys. They approach me for suggestions. But they always end up in relationships that I have warned them against. And only when they break up with their boyfriends, they remember me. I get hurt with such attitude. What should I do? Should I avoid them?

— Perplexed

Dear Perplexed

It’s no easy task being the Guru of love, especially if you advice comes for free. Be free and don’t make the mistake of taking on other people/s problems and getting addicted to telling you friends “I told you so”.