Allow time: Make sure you give yourself time to cry and hurt over your loss. It is natural to feel a great amount of pain emotionally. Grieving helps the healing process.

You are not alone: There are people around you who feel your loss, too. Grandparents, family members, friends all feel sorrow when they realise the baby is gone. It may be different from what you are feeling but they are still there with you. Allow yourself to lean on them. Tell them how you feel.

Dealing with insensitivity: There are people who don’t understand what you are going through. This does not mean they don’t want to be helpful. Some people you hold dear will say things that seem very insensitive. They are just at a loss for what to say. Don’t take it personally when someone tries to tell you there’s always time to have another child.

Support system: Whenever a person goes through a tragedy it is important for that person to feel like there is someone to turn to. Build yourself a support system. Your doctors, your spouse or other women who have been through are your best support system. Talk to your doctor and don’t be afraid to ask questions. S/he she has been through this with other patients. Don’t cut your spouse out. This person is suffering just as much as you are.

Relaxation: No one knows better what helps you relax. Take a long bubble bath as often as you need. Curl up with your favourite book and a cup of tea under your favourite blanket. Go for long walks in your favourite place. Meditate or watch your favourite movie. Whatever it is that helps you relax, do it, as often as possible during your grieving time.

Get away: If you have the opportunity, get away from home for a few days. Buy something special for yourself. Give yourself a chance to spoil yourself. If you can’t get away, plan a day trip and do some of these things anyway, just closer to home.

Write a letter to your baby: Put your thoughts down in writing. Tell your child how much you will miss him or her. Let the child know how much s/he was wanted and how much it hurt that you will never get to meet. Give your child a name while you do this so whenever you have a sad moment you can talk.