Jamie Leggatt

Has any woman met a guy that can meet all her needs and wants? When I asked my friends “What do women really want?” I received as many different answers as I did friends. Here’s just a snippet of the responses I received about what Mr Right should be like.

“When I sat down to write my recipe for my perfect partner I was clear that he needed to have a great sense of humor, a large capacity to accept love and give and express love, have a positive outlook and regard for himself and others. He needed to be very comfortable with growth, internal and external. He needed to enjoy life, have a positive spirit, lots of energy, enjoy my daughter and have a passion for his work,” said Laurel von Pander, a certified coach.

“We want a man who is reliable!! In all things. Reliable and skilled in bed, reliable in trustworthy in regards to their relationship with us and our children,” said Sharon Doucette, a professional photographer. “I would say women want both fun, excitement and the security of a committed relationship. I’d say one of the most important things, at least to me, is that he have a good sense of humor, a sense of adventure and be open to new ideas and experiences,” said Carolyn Cooke, a news editor. When I asked myself “What do women really want?” I realized that I have a much better idea of what I personally want in a perfect man today than I did as a teenager. In my younger years I was fed a fairy-tale of what every woman should look for in Mr. Right. Tall, dark and handsome was the starting point. I was also led to believe that the perfect man would not only be sensitive to my needs, but would also know me so well that he could sense those needs without me saying a word. Mr Right would be a good provider, with an exciting wild side. He would be someone that could stimulate me in every possible way.

Like many other women, I romanticised so much about the perfect man that I didn’t really check to see if it was real for me. When dating, I enjoyed an emotional romantic high during the early days and moved on when that faded. “Quite often it takes women a few years and broken heart episodes to really sort out what they want in a guy,” said Carolyn Cooke. “What is important to me, especially in terms of a relationship has changed with how I have grown and matured as a person, so the ideal man for me now bears very little resemblance to what I thought I really wanted 10 years ago.” With that in mind, it’s important for every woman to seriously question what she values and how that matches up with her idea of the perfect mate. In a nutshell, women want a man who shares their values, hobbies and interests. We want someone who possesses key qualities we respect and admire. We want Mr. Right to accept us and love us for who we really are and to treat us with respect and honor. Now that doesn’t seem like such a mystery after all, does it?

When creating your recipe for Mr Right, ask yourself these questions:

•What are the key things I value in another individual?

•What are my hobbies?

•Do I like to go out and socialize on a regular basis, or do I want to cocoon?

•Is this person my emotional, social and intellectual equal?

•Does this person share my faith or spirituality?

•What did I like and not like about my dad and his relationship with my mother?

•What kind of personality am I drawn towards? What do I respect?

•What kind of history (baggage) does each of you bring to the relationship?

•What are my weaknesses and what might I need in a man to balance those out?

•What will I absolutely not tolerate in his behavior or attitudes to life?