Kathmandu:

The year gone by has been eventful, to say the least. There were things we liked and things we didn’t like so much. Perhaps you’ll agree with us, and maybe you won’t. For us the year 2062 BS was something of a mixed bag. We’ve listed some things that irritated us the most, some things that amused us and some things that we’d not like to see in the coming year. But whatever the new year brings, we’ll be here wracking our brains to get the best to you our readers.

Traffic jams: You can’t, but you have to live with it, and you can’t even ignore it. At any given time of any normal day, almost every major road is caught in this vicious net. To get to your destination (office, school, movie hall, park), you act clever and try to take a short cut through the gallis. But even here you will not be disappointed by the loads, and loads of cars, motorbikes, cycles and other ‘clever’ people like you who have struck on the very same idea. Even the footpath is not spared. Hurried bikers and cyclists vie with you for their space on the footpath. Our advice: If you have to reach somewhere today, you should have reached it yesterday itself. Then perhaps you’ll be on time.

Bandhs: It is more normal to have a bandh day than a ‘normal’ day that we (those over 25) used to know. Bandhs were something that happened in far off lands and we got to hear about it over the radio or read about it in some magazine someone brought to the office. But these past years, we’ve also had the chance to experience bandhs first hand (too many to count). We suggest: Make the most of bandhs cause we might have to live with it forever (meaning there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, or maybe you are wearing dark glasses).

Parties: Come bandhs or highwater, we will party. That was the principle that guided K-town last year. The Capital witnessed the maximum amount of parties — be it for special occasions or for no apparent reason. For the young and the old, the bold and the beautiful, the junkies and the simpletons — there was a party catering to all kinds of people and tastes. If you didn’t party last year, do so this year because life is a party.

The third sex: You might look at them with disdain or just plain curiosity. But you have to hand it out to them: their style will give the girls of our city a run for their money. In mini skirts and high heels, they never fail to catch your eye. We’d like to ask some of our girls to take some fashion lessons from them.

And on fashion, puuleeese girls, do you think it is the ultimate fashion trend to wear a mini skirt (leaving legs bare from ankle to high up thigh) and then don a snowman’s jacket over your shoulders? We’d like to be frank and your friends, darlings it is ‘ridiculous’ and you all look so too.

Men enjoying on women’s money: No shame here as it might mean that we have reached that level of ‘equality’ that makes it comfortable for men to sit back and smile while women empty their purses to pay for the mug of beer she never drank. Sometimes it’s okay, many times it is more practical to go Dutch, but at other times at least volunteer to pay (even if you don’t). Try this, it might make you feel like you’ve done a good turn.

Hip-hop pants: Heaven only knows who created these pieces of attire and the Lord only knows how our guys adorn them with such confidence. The fact these hip-hop pants can fall off at any moment (even a slight pull is enough to cause the guys the embarrassment of their lifetime) but this doesn’t seem to deter their spirits. The pants might start way below your waist and end way below your feet, but it looks like the hip-hop pants are here to stay. In case you are caught in the aforementioned embarrassing situation, we suggest — forget your ultra hip-hop pants, cover your face with both your hands and run before the girls see you.

Band-aids: Our youngsters have found a new use for the good old band-aid. Even if you have no scar or cut on your face, you should stick a band-aid on your face. Why? Because it is cool and you wanna be one cool dude. To remind them, it was Nelly who started it. Nelly who?

Nelly the rapper. Come on guys, don’t you think you could be a little more original and create your own fashion statements. Here’s something easy and not far off from what you’re doing — how about a band-aid on the nose?

Ads: Perhaps some original, well-made, home-made ads would not be too much to ask? Can we look forward to at least a few this year? By original, we don’t mean ‘inspired’ by...

Hip but…: It is very cool to wear hip and happening clothes. But let’s not forget that it is your attitude that should be the hippest. You’ve got to have the right attitude. Please don’t embarrass yourself and the people around you by trying to be someone (or something) which you are not. We demand: Stop copying others. Find our own hip mantra.

Superwomen: Our female SAFA tempo drivers deserve our kudos. They’ve managed to break age-old customs and tread on the unbroken path. They’ve kept at it and it is a pleasure to see these gutsy women at the wheel.

Straight hair: Is it an unwritten code that the government has passed or did we miss something? The year 2062 BS has perhaps seen an equal number of persons who’ve gone for the ‘straight’ hair look as there have been well seconds in the millennium. Gender has got nothing to do with this. Every second female or male on the streets flaunts straight hair, no matter how fake it looks. Listen people, have you never ever heard of ‘variety is the spice of life’. If you haven’t, you have now.

Busy, busy, busy: ‘Network Busy’, ‘Not Reachable’ and ‘Number not available’. How often have you confronted this problem when you are trying to reach someone on the cell-phone? We bet everyone will vouch for this. With such poor connectivity, perhaps messages via our snail mail would reach the destination faster.

Tole pageants: We have a Miss Nepal and we are all proud of her. But is it necessary to have Miss This, Miss That, Miss Somebody, Miss Nobody... If we have more of such tole pageants, then perhaps one day we will enter the Guinness Book of World Records for having more ‘Miss ...’ than the female population of our country.

Airport accent: And everyone is set on going abroad — be it for ‘abroad study’ or some other reason. But hey, we are your friends, we’ve known you since the time you were this

high; so what’s with the twang and the accent? If you’ve stayed abroad for a number of years, perhaps that accent is acceptable.

But we can’t, not in any way, forgive those who go to the airport to bid a distant relative goodby, accidently bump into someone with an accent and come back with a twang that will even beat the original. People, it’s okay not to speak with an accent and it is also okay to let go of your ‘airport accent’.

Gods here: And we found a God, and lost him in the year gone by.

Happy New Year everybody.