MILLENNIALS. JUST MILLENNIALS
We get that assigning common traits to an entire generation involves a dose of trickery. But we also get that Millennials are a bubble.
Now get over it. Message for some: Go get your own jobs. Pay for your own apartments. Look up from your phones occasionally. You gotta earn some stuff, like respect and raises.
Further, and this one isn’t your fault, Millennial Pink needs to go. Why it was assigned to you has to do with a growing acceptance of gender fluidity, so score! But the color has had its best day.
And what is the color? Scribes have decided it’s a range from blushy beige to a dull peach-salmon.
According to the editors over at The Strategist blog, the color was so named “for its capacity to define a generation with its perfect balance of serious and frivolous.”
SPIRALIZING THROUGH LIFE
We’re going to leave kale alone — at least for now — to keep peace at the office. We’ll be gunning for you next year, kale, if you’re still all high and mighty.
For now, we’re going to focus on zoodles and anything else spiralized. If you want to eat pasta, eat pasta. If you want to eat zucchini, eat zucchini. Does it really make you happy to turn perfectly good zucchini into pasta-like strands? If so, rethink yourself.
Veggies, good. Making them into something else? That’s just work and includes cuke noodles, too. Leave the cucumbers to be great next to the zucchinis.
Sure, spiral fries and little ribbons of carrot are time travelers. And if you simply must zoodle, so be it. It’s just, do we need another kitchen gadget taking up counter space? Spiralizers took America by storm in 2014. Can we get over it and back to our roots as natural-born choppers? Thank you.
You either say it out loud or you’re thinking it: The frosting is the best part. Make it more nutritionally sound if you must but don’t make it disappear along the sides.
This goes in particular for wedding cakes. Dare to bare without fondant or other icings for yourself, but subjecting a hall of your closest family and friends to this, well, sugar travesty, leaves a bad taste in the mouth, even with cutesy cake toppers and sugary flowers plopped onto the crumby bits.
Brides and grooms have been craving naked cakes at least since 2014 and bakeries were happy to respond, leaving buttercream or fruit preserves between layers, thank you very much. Momofuku Milk Bar and Christina Tosi were among the first to do it, explaining they wanted the cake itself to shine.
Cake, you’ve had your moment. Now get under there and re-learn your place.