I was the first to crack jokes about my size, laughing with the others on the
outside but crying intensely on the inside. I hid my eating binges from my family, hating myself for what I was doing, but unable to control myself.
At the age of 34, I weighed 300 pounds. I was in pain 24 hours a day, with degenerative disc problems. My body felt stretched and crushed all at the same time. Stepping on the scales at 300 pounds was a turning point in my life. The scale registered that enormous number, but I felt like a zero. And I realised with startling clarity that if I didnâ€™t gain control of my life, I wouldnâ€™t be around much longer. I thought of my precious sons â€” I wouldnâ€™t be there to watch them grow up. Iâ€™d miss their first crushes, first heartaches, proms, driverâ€™s licenses, graduations, weddings â€” Iâ€™d never hold my grandbabies.
At that moment, I knew I had two choices: live or die. Something inside me broke free and I heard myself screaming, â€œIâ€™m going to live! I deserve to live, live, live!â€
I screamed loud enough to awaken a new me. I had a drive inside Iâ€™d never felt before. I knew then that I was going to do everything in my power to win this battle. I wasnâ€™t going to give up on me ever again.
This powerful force inside me for life was a force of love as well. I felt a spark of love for myself â€” as I was â€” that had been gone for a long time. I decided, for the first time ever, that I was going to lose weight the healthy way. â€” Beliefnet.com