MIDWAY : A friend indeed

Chandni Khadka

I have been deeply hurt in the past few months. And it is all because of my faulty perception of things and attitude in life. Well wishers as they always were, I still had persistent complaints about people around me. I blamed the world, the society, and others including parents, siblings, and friends for the bitter things that I was experiencing. All unpleasant things were happening to me and only me, or so I thought. I always stayed away from happiness that I deserved due to my own attitude. The fear of getting hurt was one of the biggest obstacles on my way to being happy. I was snugly complacent in my negative attitude and that was precisely why I remained blithely ignorant about happiness of relishing trivial things.

I was engrossed in pain and sadness created by my own attitude and I had forgotten to smile. It seemed as if I was only breathing; not living. Imprisoning myself around the walls of unnecessary fear meant getting hurt. This fear was borne out of my negative attitude. I believed in changing the people around me — until I ended up hurting myself. I let myself hurt even with trivial things. So touchy was I about things, mundane and mild, that even the smallest fear tore my heart into pieces. That attitude made me emotionally weak and instead made me hate others.

Thanks to the Lord that he gave me such a friend who taught me the grace to change myself rather than changing the world around me. With my friend’s counselling I have been able to discard my hopeless attitude. I have now learned to fill my heart with joy. Today I find myself enjoying every bit of life. I have realised that I was missing happiness, which I was supposed to search it in the happiness of my parents, friends and other people around me. It is very true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it is also true we don’t know what we’ve been missing until we realise it. Life is too short and I repent that I lost almost a year in finding fault with others and holding grudges.

Now out of my cocoon, I see the world as forgetting to smile. This has been providing the ground for all the violence. Inculcating a positive attitude in life, overcoming hurdles as they come, would certainly help make this world a better place. People should realise that the greatest change would be to change oneself, not others. The world is in need of a friend, someone who could teach what loving, caring and sharing is all about. Like the book, “You can win” that bailed me out of gloom.