We have grown up in a culture where we are taught to take compliments at their face value. Indeed, in our society, everyone likes to bask in their own glory from the mouths of their near and dear ones. A few lofty words, even from a stark stranger, are to be treasured. Doctors, conductors, lawyers and labourers — a few good words on their area of expertise and their ego soars. At that moment, one cannot help think that they work primarily for recognition and praise. Women are especially vulnerable to flattery. Married or not, their self-worth touches the sky at a few kind words on their breathtaking beauty or waspish wit.

Not all the people are as credulous though. Leonardo Da Vinci used to “negotiate with those who praise me but only after I check whether or not others can give me a better insight.”

Compliments, honest or otherwise, are employed to win over both friends and foes (as expediency demands). To gain compliments, women put on airs in front of men. And men duly oblige with a deluge of sugary words. Similarly, businessmen put their politeness to good use in order to win over customers. It is rightly said: “If you are going to adapt with antagonist first you have to praise.”

In the field of politics, politicians are first praised to the hilt when they are first elected, but chided endlessly thereafter. The tabloids too first highlight positive aspects of the celebrities before cutting them down to their real size. And then there is sarcastic praise: “The food is excellent. But would have been better if you had added a little salt.”

Last time when I met my brother, he wanted me to read aloud the content of the book he had just brought out. It left a lot to be desired, nevertheless I let out an orgy of praises. Only because I wanted to remain in his good book. Likewise, while my own writing leaves a lot to be desired, a lot of people might praise me just because I managed to publish it.

At the core of the phenomenon lies our desire to be in good terms with the one being lauded. For who knows when he/she might come handy. Hence we should be on our guards whenever someone praises us endlessly. Remember, what you see and hear are not always true.