The sad faces of my family members told the entire story. The continual arrival of distant relatives and friends heightened the sorrow in the living room. As I walked into the crammed space, I didn’t know what to do, whether to put my head down like the rest or bear with the disturbing news. My beloved grandfather had passed away.

The news of his demise came as a shock to everyone; even those people who’d just seen him sauntering through the galli on his own, even at the ripe age of 82. The news didn’t sting me when I heard it through my mother. Condition critical; blood pressure high; biopsy tomorrow; severe lung infection - these were the messages that my father would text in now and then from Bangkok. I thought it was obvious that my grandfather was slowly slipping away and that everyone should accept it and move on with their lives.

The following day I prepared to go to the airport, along with my cousins, to pick up my grandfather’s body, which would arrive in a coffin from Bangkok. I was calm and composed during the drive to the airport, but as I stepped out of the car, anxiety enclosed me. I began to feel queasy; something was not right, something seemed missing. I finally figured out what it was — I would never have the opportunity to see his everyday life again.

His incessant urge to taste an assortment of foods, which led to humorous arguments with my grandmother; his insistence on going to malls and buying goods himself even if he found it difficult to walk; his longing to dress up like a middle-aged man and apply whitening creams and spray the most aromatic deodorants; his desire to watch Hindi films; his joking pleas to get him a new and expensive pen; his requests to fix DVD player and teach him how to use the remote control; and most of all, his motto, which he never spoke of, but certainly lived through: “Live life to the fullest”. I would never perfect it like he did.

As the coffin arrived on the cargo hold, I was trying not to break down. When I saw his photo adorned by garlands on the truck where the coffin would be transferred, when I locked my eyes with his, I couldn’t control the grief within me. My emotions were there for all to see. I cried.