MIDWAY:Madonna’s new man

His name is Jesus and her name, of course, is Madonna: how could they not get together? OK, maybe the original duo didn’t strip off their clothes as soon as they met and then pose for a fashion shoot that took more inspiration from Emmanuelle than The Last Temptation of Christ.

Yet the wonderful juxtaposition of names is, impressively, one of the less attention-grabbing aspects to the relationship between Madonna and Jesus Luz, or “Jesus Light”. Instead, what has really fascinated the media is that she is 50 and he is 22 or, as the London Daily Mail was quick to point out, older than Luz’s grandmother.

In other words, when Luz was born Madonna was married to Sean Penn. Speaking of Penn, he confirmed his status as one of the more charming men in Hollywood when his ex-wife approached him at an Oscars party last week to congratulate him on his win. Penn gestured towards Luz and sneered, “Thanks. Another kid already?” I wonder if Penn ever cracks similar jokes to his good friend Jack Nicholson when he turns up with another teenager. Oh no, that’s right. Older men — sexy.

Older women — ewwww! Can an older woman even have sex? Some readers might cry double standards, claiming that if a 50-year-old male popstar was going out with a 22-year-old model this article wouldn’t be quite so approving. Two responses come to mind, the first one obviously is that the world has endured photos of ageing rockers pawing teenage girls for decades, so it’s nice to have a little bit of payback.

Last year alone, Bryan Ferry, 63, started going out with a 27-year-old who may or may not be his son Isaac’s ex-girlfriend; Paul Weller, 50, ditched his girlfriend of 13 years before being photographed rolling on a pavement with a 23-year-old, and Ronnie Wood, 61, left the mother of his children for a childlike blonde. As for Madonna, heck, the woman deserves something after her bitter divorce and custody wrangles with Guy Ritchie.

True, two wrongs don’t make a right. But famous women over 35, let alone 50, don’t have such a nice time of it. This is not an original point, but it is one that seems to get truer with every passing year.