Savour the patch up part

It takes two to tango-and to fight-and definitely to make up afterwards. That’s the way life is made when you come to think of the couples. There is more to life than what your imagination has spread out.

Mushy romances may be your staple literary diet during the growing years, leading you to believe that love and marriage are all about candle light dinner and leisurely hand-in-hand walks.

But they don’t tell the complete story-the disagreements, the sulks, the tears in fine print. And while it is relatively easy to enter into a verbal war with your significant ther-trust me, in what you usually dive in feet first!-it is quite tacky, but absolutely essential, to put right again, “go on, kiss and make up” is good advice but it sounds deceptively easy!

Frankly, it isn’t. Simply because a fight has a snowballing effect- it rarely limits itself to the issue at hand, but rakes up other unresolved issues of the past and allegations fly like bats in a belfry.

Bitter, hurtful things and said insensitively to each other and the situation becomes nasty. Well, then, it takes some guts to be able to put the hurt aside, acknowledge your own fault (and remember, in no fight does the blame lie only with one person; in greater or lesser degree both are responsible for the situation having taken this ugly turn).

A fight leaves behind bruised egos and hurt feelings, and it is also true that even though the wounds may heal, the scars remain for a long time, something forever. And these scars

are likely to bring back, from time to time, painful memories of the bitter exchanges, but one should concentrate instead on what and actually gone wrong at that time and ensure that the same thing does not happened again.

Simply remembering the hurtful things the other said to you is not conductive to the healing process- in fact, it is actually a hindrance.

It also prevents you from seeing the larger picture- the love that you share. So, the better idea is to sort out the cause for disagreement and discontent.

Hey, didn’t somebody once say that the best part about fighting is the making up? That person was absolutely right, you know.