Our readers believe, it is somehow difficult for people to admit their mistakes, they get defensive, but if you never get past it then you will never succeed in life. So, dealing with such people means either avoiding them or giving them a taste of their own medicine

I have a habit of observing people. I have been doing it for as long as I can remember and the one thing I can say with absolute certainty is that — people don’t change. The question here is do people realise their mistakes? I don’t think so. Almost everyone will simply stick to whatever they’ve done. They will never accept that they are wrong, no matter what.

If you ask a criminal if he thinks he’s wrong, more than 90 per cent of the time the criminal will try and explain how he is a good guy. The greatest gangster of America Al-Capone never considered himself to be a bad guy. He used to say that he always tried to do good for society. He regarded himself as a social worker. However, the truth is that he committed every kind of crime like murder, rape, drug-trafficking et cetera. Did Hitler, who was a mass murderer, admit his mistake? In fact, he was so stubborn that he took his wrong doings to his grave.

All of that being said, it will be wrong to say that all people are stubborn. People will realise their mistake only if you are clever enough to make them realise it. If you accuse a person of his mistake right on his face and use all kinds of harsh words, you will earn yourself an enemy. You can forget about the person ever realising his mistake.

If a person ever makes a mistake, first of all realise that he/she is not God. They are humans just like us. Learn to forgive. Learn to see the world from their angle. Understand their interpretations. Before pointing out their mistakes, praise their good work. Make them feel good. Don’t refer to his/her mistake as a mistake. Just explain how their decision has affected you. Then only will they realise what they’ve done. You will be amazed with the results.

— Ruchir Dahal, Sinamangal, Kathmandu

Humans make mistakes every now and then. Some accept their fault to make things right. This makes things easy to deal with the situation for those who are involved while there are some people who never take responsibility for their actions. Well, I haven’t encountered such a person to date, but as I know, their ego means most to them, nothing else matters. They just tend to enfeeble us emotionally. So, if I am to encounter such person then I would just bid them goodbye. We all have our self-respect. If s/he is not willing to cooperate then I would not behold the feelings. After all ‘only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches’.

— Anonymous

Mistakes are inevitable among humans. Accepting mistakes and going forward can be a major leap in every step of life. However, there are people who do not accept their mistakes whatsoever. And one of them is me. I do not easily accept the mistakes I make. At times they are very challenging. So, dealing with people like me could be a difficult task. Though mistakes are a part and partial of life, the more mistakes we make, we become more developed. As I am not good at apologising, I want to overcome this gradually.

— Suman Rai, Hattiban, Lalitpur

Human nature and behaviour are one of the most complex aspects of active research in disciplines such as neuroscience, psychology, and psychiatry. How a human behaves at a specific time and point and under what circumstances as well as physiological and socio-psychological conditions are interesting questions of human behavioural patterns that may have played very important role in evolution of modern humans. Both types of people are common, those that are nice, well mannered, friendly, supportive and brave enough to apologise for their mistakes; and on the other hand are another group that are extremely egoistic, short tempered, have wrong attitude and never care to apologise for their mistakes and always identify others for their own faults.

I have come across both types in my life. The first group is extremely easy to deal with; but the second group is not only challenging to deal with but is also emotionally draining. Many of them have been harmful and destructive in my life. I have tried to avoid them as long as possible and confronted them directly when it was unavoidable and sometimes it turned too abusive. I found that people who usually acquire high positions without much struggle or through benevolent blessings of others and/or manipulations are the most abusive compared to those who have been successful due to their honesty, and hard work. I believe the best way to deal with abusive individuals who never apologise is to demonstrate them passively how an individual should be treated with respect, courtesy, honour and dignity. I would like to quote Mahatma Gandhi here, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world’.

​— Saikat Kumar Basu, Lethbridge, Canada

It is human nature to make a mistake, knowingly or unknowingly. In the course some realise it and take responsibility. And there is another lot who won’t care about their action and the repercussion it leads to.

Once I was returning home from college in the evening. I was lucky to find a packed bus. It is natural that in such situation, people push each other, step on the feet and so on. So, life goes on with mistakes and we only realise it when someone does the same to us. The only solution is to honestly say sorry.

— Apsara Katuwal, Saatalley, Kapan

As far as possible we try to ignore our mistakes by making further mistakes and pretending nothing happened. Instead of this, if we try to rectify it, we will be on the path of evolution. The one who never makes mistake is not wise but the one who learns from the past mistakes is regarded as a wise man. Yes, it is very easy to find people who don’t admit to their mistakes and do not take responsibility for their actions making others suffer.

I used to be like this. So, dealing with such people depends on whether mistakes were made unknowingly or intentionally.

— Bhaktalaxmi Bhasima, Thimi

They say that even God made mistakes, and we are mere humans. Mistake is not something that we should be ashamed of, in fact realising one’s mistakes and accepting the fault is where the greatness lies. I have noticed that people who are confident are the ones who are happy and they don’t bother much about other people’s personal matter. And those who don’t feel secure are the ones who keep poking their nose in other’s life. They are the egoistic ones. They are always in a rush to let others down and always find ways to make others feel inferior. Generally people don’t accept their fault because of their ego. And for ego satisfaction, they keep making mistakes. Jealousy and hatred make people even more narrow minded and they never make it a point even to think if they ever happen to make any mistake.

I just don’t prioritise such people, don’t talk much with them and try my best to avoid them. But if they get on my nerves, I apply the tit-for-tat formula.

— Smriti Dahal, Pepsicola, Townplanning

We all make mistakes. They are a part of human experience. Our words and actions have consequences. They shape the world around us. Literally, the mistake is something you did without intention. Escaping responsibility is the root of tragedy. There are only few people who accept their fault to make things right. May be they believe in karma which says ‘you alone are responsible for your actions. You can’t escape from your past, but learning from it will change your future’. They acknowledge and accept the choices they have made, the action they have taken and results they have led to.

And there are those who never take responsibility for their actions making others suffer. Why is it so hard to own up to your own mistakes? Ok, you screwed up, something went horribly wrong and it’s all your fault. Now it’s time to pay the piper. However, most people will try to weasel out of their mistakes. Mistakes were made but not by me — that’s the implication. I hate this. People never understand that mistakes happen without intention but not being responsible is done knowingly.

Four months ago, I encountered an invigilator during my BA Ist Year Nepali exams who tore my paper after the final bell as I was still writing. I was so desperate, I even thought of taking immediate action against him. At the same moment I found him feeling guilty, so I let him be. Later he assured me not to worry, and he would handle it.

If I had taken some action against him despite his assurance, situation might have become worse. I tried to understand the situation and dealt with it. I learnt that understanding leads to greater awareness to overcome mistakes.

— Rabu Ranjit, Kathmandu

World doesn’t seem to be perfect, everyone makes mistakes and we learn from there. Some people admit their fault while others are not concerned about it. I have encountered with a lot of such people and I guess it’s futile arguing with them. If it was me, who was at fault, I would have solved the problem without being egoistic. Those who do not admit their faults are difficult to deal with as even a simple conversation leads to an argument. And when people do not admit their fault I say it on their face.

— Anonymous

It was an embarrassing moment of my life when I encountered him. He used to take advantage of my innocent feelings. He was a perfect example of only talks and no action. He committed to me several times for the work he was supposed to do. But every time he failed to deliver his work. I then realised that all he cared was about himself and no one else. To date I deal with this person with silence even though he makes me mad.

— Saroj Wagle, Dumarwana, Bara

A few years back, one of my close friends hurt me by blurting out my personal sentiments in the public. I did not forgive him and we tried to avoid each other for a long time, but we got a chance to sort out our bitterness. This was possible because we did not keep ego between us. I believe that life is short, so we must forgive each other and make a healthy relationship and be happy so that there is nothing to worry about.

However, there are still some people who never take any responsibility for their fault and I pity them.

— BR Khatiwada, Ithari-1

You need guts to admit your mistake. Making a mistake is not a big deal, rather admitting and taking the responsibility of your mistake certainly is. I also had made mistakes in my life but the good part is every time I made mistake I learnt many things from it. And whenever I make a mistake I make sure I admit it to make things right as I don’t want to hurt anyone.

The biggest mistake people make is hurt others. I have encountered such people who never take responsibility their mistake. Just a five letter word sorry can change your mistake into an achievement.

— Tejaswi Pahari, Jawalakhel, Lalitpur

Being a teacher it becomes my duty to teach well in the class, but if I fail to make one weak student understand, it will be my failure. Later in life when s/he finds himself/herself in a helpless situation then s/he remembers the teachers who did not pay attention to him/her. Such errors have marred millions of students’ lives. There are such teachers who play with students’ lives as they aim to only mint money. This situation prevails in our education system and students suffer as we know parents are too busy or working aboard to pay the fees and they can’t always be by their children’s side to guide them.— Pratibha Bhandari

There will be a solution if you know the problem. Thus, there will be improvement when you know your weakness. Recently while I was travelling to Darchula, there was a drunk person who was disturbing other passengers. I shouted at the driver to drop either me or him off from the bus. Even other passengers began shouting making the conditions stable. It seems sometimes being rude is better than to be quiet.

— Abhinay Jayaswal, New Baneshwor

Everyone makes mistakes but great people are those who apologise for their mistakes. There are a very few people who accept their mistakes. People think saying sorry degrades them so they hardly say sorry for their mistakes.

A few days ago when I was travelling on a bus, a young lady knowingly pushed me, but she didn’t say sorry to me and behaved like nothing happened. I was amazed with her behaviour, but didn’t say anything. Looking at her, she looked educated.

— Sonika Lamichhane

Einstein once said, “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

Corroborating this statement one can say that mistakes are foundation of the success. We are humans so it is natural that mistakes are natural in our life. But there are people who not only conceal their mistakes but also, if given a chance, never hesitate to accuse others for their mistakes. Such people never learn. I have met a lot of such people. No one can make them realise their mistakes. Thus, I avoid such people.

— Kamal

I’ve encountered many people who lack in maturity and wisdom. Maturity embarks when we realise our misconceptions and consider it as a stepping stone for our own development. And this realisation is done by the wisest. The best way to deal with the egocentric mankind is to make them aware of their doings and freeing them from false assumptions. Since people living in delusion directly or indirectly affect the rest, it’s our prime duty to guide them to the trajectory divergent to superiority complex. Society judges such people in the negative way and questions their personality. Wouldn’t it be better to remind them that it is their mistake and they are responsible for it rather than jumping into false conclusions?

If only humans helped humans to discern their misunderstandings then we’d have the power to convert ourselves into something better than we were before. Eventually, the society would be a beautiful place to live in.

— Samagya Pradhan

When I encounter people who do not admit to their fault, firstly, I try to make them understand how their behaviour is affecting others and suggest them positively to act decorously. I advise them how propriety maintains one’s stature in the society. If this doesn’t work ‘an eye for an eye’ always works.

— Tribikram Rajaure, Kirtipur

I have met people who have hurt me a lot but they never realised their mistake. I somehow manage to make

them realise their mistake but nothing beyond that. They keep trying to drag me down so I start avoiding them.

— Kabita Poudel, Mid Baneshwor, Kathmandu