TOPICS: Disposition matters

Wedding season is in the air with the onset of winter. My youngest brother, an eligible bachelor, has consigned the task of finding a bride for him upon the family.

He believes in finding his love match by means of the concerted efforts of his family members rather than squandering his time and effort in the melodrama of falling for a girl and the upkeep of the relationship until it culminates in the nuptial knots.

In the pursuit of finding a bride for him we are undergoing quite some experiences and emotions.

The bottom line attributes we have expected in a prospective bride are that the bride be down-to-earth and level headed. Those attributes suffice it when it comes to leading a happy married life, don’t they?

If one of the spouses lacks those attributes, no matter how wealthy, intelligent, beautiful and good looking your spouse is, the relationship either falls apart or keeps faltering along the way.

I don’t think it is necessary to elaborate on what it is like to be down-to-earth or level-headed. They should be the necessary and sufficient conditions when it comes to choosing a partner for marriage.

Someone in love who does not possess the disposition of the aforementioned kind is good at building castles in air and weaving untenable dreams with their partner. In a sense, I buy the justification my brother has offered for not going for love marriage.

Whether it is love or arranged, if the disposition of the potential partners is not taken into account, the relationship will suffer.

Before marriage, your sense of rational judgment about your partner’s disposition gets eclipsed because the game of love in the society like ours needs melodramatic attentions, time and energy. Partners either keep their love affair hush-hush or share with their friends, family and relatives (openly).

In both cases, you find it painful to sustain the relationship. If the disposition of the partners is totally in sync with each other for a happy and productive marriage then the relationship will prove to be a real bliss. I have found many couples, even before marriage, fight and show tons of differences.

Yet, they decide to go for marriage with guarded sense of optimism reckoning that s/he will change the habits.

But later the partners will realize the enormity of what they did. Such marriage either ends up in divorce or remains unproductive to the partners themselves because of the lack of necessary sparkle to ignite the zeal for the day-to-day life.