TOPICS: Over-expectation kills

A month back, one of the students of Lalitpur Engineering College committed suicide because he could confide to his father that he had failed in some subjects and it might take a while before he passed them.

Exactly, six years back, an overachieving friend of mine had done the same thing in the US. He had a scholarship and was doing well. There are plenty of such happenings. Nepal comes in the 7th 7osition in suicide rate in a research conducted by World Health Organization (WHO) in 2015.

Nepal has an estimated 6, 840 suicides annually, or 24.9 suicides per 100,000 people. Suicide is currently the leading cause of death for Nepalese women aged 15-49.

I am a teacher and from what I feel while dealing with parents is that sometimes there is a lot of pressure upon the students. Some parents may deny this.

The face of pressure might be different. Sometimes, there is a lot of expectation pressuring the minds of students. For us coming from a developing country, most of our struggle is for survival. We spend most of the time studying and earning for a better livelihood.

In the formation of a society, if a person has to jump from his/her class to upper one or maintain the class they have, they have to go through expectant eyes, and if they fail then that failure is not taken easily. There was this article about a person who had graduated from Harvard with flying colours.

Everybody around him expected him to excel well in life and overachieve anywhere he goes. Then something happened. He just could not do that “something” he was expected to do. He then committed suicide.

I think it’s high time we followed something that Lord Krishna says in the Bhagvad Gita, i.e. not to worry or desire for the result but perform one’s karma. Satisfaction is in the work not in the result.

This is what Zen Buddhism is all about. This is how one of the achievers in our time Steve Jobs lived. Families started to be together, to support each other. Over-expectation kills.

If one is scoring ‘A‘ every time but happens to score C once, let it be. Let us not overreact.

Let us always congratulate or applaud him/her after the result despite how it is. It gives a sense of contentment and satisfaction that whatever the condition is my family is always there. This is the essence a family should have.

This does not however mean that one should not give constructive criticisms. Grooming and improving is always there, but getting dissatisfied about one’s performance is something one should avoid.