From the moment we're born, our society begins teaching us about gender.

We're given a 'sex' at birth, either 'male' or 'female'.

Throughout childhood, we get taught about the roles, behaviours and attributes that are considered appropriate for that female or male identity.

The term 'masculinity' refers to the roles, behaviours and attributes that are associated with maleness and considered appropriate for men. Similarly, the term 'femininity' refers to a society's ideas about the roles, behaviours and attributes that are considered appropriate for women and associated with 'effeminacy', 'softness', 'shyness', and the list goes on.

Colonialism paved the way for the origin of masculinity by dividing gender roles because European women went to the colonies, mainly as wives, sex partners and servants within households controlled by men. We deal with these social ideas about masculinity and femininity every day. Though the very idea of masculinity dates back to around the 16th century, different types of masculinities have emerged, and since then masculinity has been redefined due to political awareness, debates and criticism.

In many parts of the world, men are dominant in different sectors like politics, economics, education, sports and family.

Genuine gender equality is still a utopian idea. However, it doesn't mean that all men are powerful. But the fact that having power over political, economic and social affairs is associated with masculinity. The roles, behaviours and attributes that are associated with maleness and considered masculine usually bring greater social status, economic reward and political power than those associated with the feminine.

Even if the number of women taking on leadership roles in many walks of life is on the rise, from the government to private companies, the norm remains that leadership is seen as masculine and done mostly by men, that is, authority still has a male face. There are several Nepali women who have gone into politics or been promoted to senior positions in business, but they're often stigmatised for not showing womanly characteristics, or being too manly.

Since women in these roles might be seen as challenging men or contending against men for positions, they often face harassment and abuse from men, who are attempting to reinforce their own power and control.

Advertisement is very common in contemporary society. Many do not feel that its effect is beyond the normally considered province of economic transaction of the market. Advertisements can affect our values and perception of something. Some Nepali advertisements and posters represent hegemonic masculinity, which many people may not be aware of. They attempt to construct the 'hegemonic masculinity'.

For example, in a Nepali advertisement of Maruti Cement, Rajesh Hamal in his westernised attire is placed at the centre with both his arms visible, whereas other female actors in their simple traditional attires are squeezed in the crowd of other men.

Besides, in the posters of schools and colleges, girls are seen holding books, dancing, singing or drawing, while boys are seen riding a horse, trekking, swimming, doing sports and the like.

It isn't limited to actors and students. A female receptionist, not a male receptionist, is seen working in her office. A suited and booted male is seen sitting in his spinning chair in his well-furnished office. Such a publicity tendency may project men as a 'hegemonic masculine' male and female as a 'subordinate character'.

As patriarchy is the outcome of the past, we cannot easily get rid of this long-standing stubborn fact. That's why the domination of men and the subordination of women is not a self-reproducing system.

Some Nepali men still accept that deep-rooted, male-controlled customs have contributed significantly to the acceptance of domestic violence in Nepal.

Some men tend to say firmly they must demonstrate manhood within marriage through physical discipline to correct their wives' behaviours and to adhere to static social roles.

Hegemonic masculinity must be expanded to understand the role entrapment, which is the function of conformity to gender expectations related to the pressure to follow hegemonic masculinity.

Furthermore, in patriarchal societies, women aren't conceptualised as holding power, wielding power, being powerful, unless it is in relation to aspects of the domestic or private domain, which is seen as the 'natural' location for women. So, a common reason behind domestic violence is family disputes with traditional expectations of men as well as men's attempts to express their masculinity.

Masculine stereotypes include heterosexuality, strength, leadership and dominance. The exhibition of such characteristics disempowers and weakens girls' morale by creating opposite qualities to function within. Since women are subordinated by body-reflexive practices that are typified by an 'obligatory heterosexuality' ingrained in hegemonic masculinity, men are entrapped in the patriarchal framework to follow hegemonic masculinity because of traditionally defined gender roles and societies' expectations of them.

Education, awareness, technology and media are playing an instrumental role in transforming hegemonic masculinities into transformative or healthy masculinities. Nevertheless, some incidences or examples of hegemonic masculinities are still deeply rooted in Nepali patriarchal societies, ingrained in people's mindsets, and strongly grounded in everyday lived experiences.

We as grandparents, fathers, uncles, brothers, nephews, brothers-in-law and sons-in-law together can play a small role in establishing a fairer, peaceful and happy society in Nepal.

Sherma, who is pursuing an MPhil in English, writes English textbooks

A version of this article appears in the print on April 1, 2022, of The Himalayan Times.