Annoyance, vexation or anger are natural, instinctive responses to external, or internal, triggers. They signify a strong, aggressive state of mind and behaviour - a basic human instinct. This is because a certain amount of anger is vital to our survival, although one just can't think that one can physically 'put the boot in' at every object, or lash out at every person that annoys us. Else, there would be no law, social norm or common sense - as 'hostility' would rule the roost.

The best part is there are a variety of conscious and unconscious processes that help us to manage our angry feelings - viz., expressing, suppressing and calming actions. Expressing our angry feelings is assertion, not aggression. It is the most powerful mode to 'express' anger. The only stipulation is one should learn how to make it apparent with what one's needs are, or how to get them organised, without hurting others. This does not, of course, imply being too pushy, or demanding. It actually amounts to being respectful of others.

You can't, for instance, get rid of, or avoid, things, or people, that make you 'fly off the handle,' nor can you change them - but you can always learn to control your anger response before it goes out of your hands, or bounds. When anger is suppressed, it can lead to emotional upheavals with psychosomatic overtones. More so, with childhood memories. This may limit us in some way at the emotional level. The outcome is a profoundly depressed outlook, with self-destructive tendencies - the trigger being emotional distress, or bullying experienced, possibly, in school, or home, thanks to a stern teacher, a 'hounding' peer or parent.

When you 'hold-in' your anger, or stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive, your intent inhibits, or curbs, your anger. You convert it into constructive behaviour. The big downside of this response, however, is - when you stifle your outward expression, your anger can recoil on yourself. Research evidences that such protracted emotional phases could be the likely trigger for high blood pressure (hypertension); also, depression. A study published in 'The Journal of the American College of Cardiology' quantifies the link between our emotions and heart disease. It underscores the principle that anger and hostility are significantly associated with 'more heart problems' in predominantly healthy people as well as 'a worse outcome for patients already diagnosed with heart disease.'

When anger is not expressed, it can create other problems, leading to 'pathological' expressions - viz., passive aggressive behaviour, or being perpetually contemptuous and intimidating. The former relates to getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than 'confronting' them head-on. When you see someone who is continually putting others down, finding fault with everything and making disparaging comments, just think that they have not learned how to usefully express their annoyance - they also most likely have but few successful relationships.

Anger control does not mean that you can't calm down; it actually means that you can calm down from the inside out. The whole idea relates to controlling your outward behaviour, your internal responses, lowering your heart rate, or calming yourself down, while 'letting go' your feelings. When you are unable to control anger, there's just one outcome - you will be hurting someone, or something.

One can measure and evaluate the intensity of angry feelings, how inclined you are to be angry at the drop of a thought, and how well you manage it. When you know you have a problem with anger, it is easy to help yourself out to beat the urge. When your anger goes out of control and becomes too hot to handle, you would need professional help - to finding better modes to dealing with the 'fizzy' emotion.

All of us get angry in different ways - one may be like a volcano waiting to erupt quickly than the other person. Others may not show their anger in a deafening, prodigal manner, but may be persistently petulant and snappy. Easily angered people do not always curse and fling things; they may actually be too withdrawn socially, or brood endlessly. In the process, they may fall sick or develop systemic illnesses, like high blood pressure and diabetes.

Most people who are easily angered, or vexed, have a low tolerance for frustration- the moment they are prone to distress, inconvenience or annoyance, they lose the plot. They just can't take things in their stride. They think that they are at the receiving end of the stick, for no fault. They also feel that everything seems unfair - for example, being chastised for a minor gaffe.

Why we get angry has intrigued mankind for aeons. Research suggests that the cause for getting annoyed, or angry, may be genetic, or physiological. While some of us are born irritable, touchy and easily angered, others may derive their anger owing to socio-cultural factors. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive and chaotic with heightened reactions. The outcome is obvious - they just don't manage their anger constructively. It is not that most psychologists and behaviour analysts are in agreement with the idea.

The livid among us may also have a propensity to profanity, blaspheme or assert in remarkably gaudy terms - the sheath of their thought progression may echo their inner contemplation. This often emanates in the form of a 'package-deal,' incorporating overstated and exceedingly vivid one-liners like, 'It's rubbish; it's awful; it's terrible; you messed it up all.' When you are at the receiving end, it is difficult to tell yourself, that, 'It's frustratingly understandable that I'm upset about it. Yet, it is not the end of the world and getting angry in response is not going to 'fix it' anyway.'

Nidamboor is a wellness physician, independent researcher and author