Yet another Miss Nepal beauty pageant, yet another controversy, followed by online debates and a forgotten story, all until next year!

This has been like an annual ritual when beauty standards get dragged to the witness box for testimonies, the keypad warriors on their online space become the jury, and the case is dismissed with countless verdicts.

One of the most coveted beauty pageants in Nepal is yet again engulfed in heat for a contestant being questioned, 'an insensitive and inappropriate question' on 'disability' by the official choreographer of the pageant. The other side of this story is that the full video has the choreographer appreciating the contestant. Nonetheless, this is not the first time the Miss Nepal beauty pageant has been criticised for its approach towards beauty standards, and this probably will not be the last.

The video of the contestant being asked about her disability went viral on social media, with criticisms and debates all over Facebook, X, Instagram and TikTok. Srijana Regmi, an established model, musician, actor and former contestant of Miss Nepal 2016, spoke up through a reel on her social media. She called the beauty pageant 'a cringe.' Some other former contestants have also shared their bitter experiences on their social media platforms, too.

Pageants at large

A shimmering studded tiara and a silky shash around the shoulder have been promising young girls across the world their journey to stardom, limelight, and empowerment – but at a cost. The price of achieving all the above has set standards that have defined the notion of beauty. From your eyelashes to your jawline, from your height to your weight, from your resilience to your strength, from your life choices to your lifestyle, beauty standards for women have always been measured in different units and remain controversial.

Beauty pageants go back as far as ancient Greek mythology, citing The Judgement of Paris as one of the first beauty pageants held in Belgium in 1888. Much later, the first Miss World pageant was organised in 1951, followed by Miss Universe in 1952. We have come a long way, and since then to now, we have tried redefining the notion of beauty in countless ways, hoping to make the pageants feel more diverse and inclusive, yet we land in disappointment.

While the online space in Nepal is again trying to dig into the purpose of beauty pageants, these events are no different when we look at the larger context.

In 2025, Milla Magee, a contestant of Miss World 2025 from the United States, left the competition midway in India, alleging the organisers of exploiting the contestants by using them as 'commodities' and 'means of entertainment for investors.' In 2024, Miss Universe Fiji was accused by the organisers of rigging votes to win and subsequently dethroned after two days of wearing the crown. The same year, Miss America stepped down, detailing a toxic work culture and bullying by the leadership. In 2018, a Miss Universe contestant received wide criticism for bullying her competitors from Vietnam and Cambodia for their English language skills. In 2017, the CEO of Miss America resigned after The Huffington Post exposed his emails with contestants discussing his sex life. In 2023, several news articles spoke about the exploitation of African women taken from refugee camps of Kenya for celebrated fashion shows in Europe at the cost of diversity and inclusion, while sending them home in debt.

While these pageants across the world promise young and aspiring women all the ladders to empowerment, their philanthropic journey, overnight fame and financial resources, women globally continue to be objectified, stereotyped, body shamed, bullied, and harassed, with many self-doubting their skills and confidence at their exit.

Coming back to Nepal, pageants here continue to question the whole purpose and vision every year. Even the first-ever Miss Nepal (1994) title winner, Ruby Rana, raised many concerns over the transparency and process of declaring the winner when her daughter, Prasiddhi Shah, was conferred with the crown of Miss International Nepal instead of the prime crown of Miss World Nepal 2023.

Beauty standards and bullying

The Generation X and the Millennials grew up believing that fairness creams can bring miracles to life. All the commercials in the early days of media shoved the common idea that anyone with a darker complexion is bound to fail in life, will never find anyone to befriend, is subjected to rejection, will not find a good life partner and will land nowhere in a profession. These commercials promised to change your life in six weeks. I personally used them in my teenage years for six years and did not change a shade in my colour.

Now that the world is advocating inclusion and diversity, these commercials and products have all turned into dinosaurs. Nevertheless, behaviour change is something we all have a long way to go.

While the choreographer of Miss Nepal continues to get trolled and bullied, maybe it is about time we reflect deep within.

With the rise in social media, the younger generation is further competing against each other to defy their existential crisis. Let us take a moment to reflect and be honest with ourselves. How many of us take our pictures when we do not feel at our best? How many of us accept ourselves in our skin and find ourselves beautiful in all shapes and sizes? How many of us have raved about celebrities we are fond of, posting their pictures without any cosmetics? How many of us have found every other being next to us beautiful?

We do not even have to go far. When we meet friends at certain intervals, many Nepalese don't start the conversation around each other's well-being. We begin with mottaechau ta (you've gained weight) or kasto dubalko (you've gone so skinny). We do not leave any stone unturned to pass comments – from the size of one's nose to complexion, to shape, weight, height, bone structure, illnesses and beyond. Even today, we have normalised calling out names to bully each other and have transferred the same culture to the younger generation. Be it within families, extended relatives, colleagues, or friends, we quietly enjoy bullying by covering it up as light humour.

Beauty pageants are a showbiz reaching a wide audience. Therefore, they get criticised. We do the same off-camera; we are no different. You mostly become who you've always been preached to become, and then you interpret and revalidate your own understandings in time. Therefore, the bully and the bullied are just examples of the society we've set across the world. They both are reflections of our own actions.

Way forward

If the choreographer of the Miss Nepal beauty pageant is guilty, we are all accountable as much. While they often say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, let's face it, most of the beholders already have parameters set for it. Yes, there are ways to ask certain questions more sensitively. As a communication professional, I do understand the importance of tonality, sound in communication, and body language to make the other person feel more comfortable while maintaining the recipient's dignity. Let's face it, beauty pageants across the world are private enterprises with their own set of standards and norms of beauty, which are no hidden secrets. If we are not comfortable with them, the wisest thing to do is not to associate with them at all. If we want to be in that kitchen, we need to brace ourselves for the heat.

Lastly, we do not have to limit ourselves to the definition of beauty through others' lenses. We can begin from ourselves by learning, unlearning and relearning the idea of beauty.

As a development worker, I work with many women whose work is far more beautiful than mine. I find them extremely beautiful in and out. They do not wear layers of cosmetics and do not carry designer wear every day. Outside of work, they try to look and wear what 'beautiful' sounds and feels like to them. I still try to look 'good' somewhere, whether consciously or unconsciously. As bitter as it is, are we not constantly trying to fit into what we all may not really believe in? Beauty is such a vague term we use, interpreted by so many in as many ways. If anything needs to change anywhere, then maybe things need to change within us. One step at a time, one day at a time. Until then, maybe nobody is too right or too wrong. Maybe nobody is too beautiful; nobody is ugly. Nobody needs a kiss to break them free from their spell cast to look great.

The above opinion is entirely of the author's and doesn't represent any organisation he works for.