LOS ANGELES: She is known for her confused, next-door-girl persona onscreen but actress Sandra Bullock says she is very "controlling" in real life. ''The Speed'' star believes that she is "difficult on every level," and "not easy to deal with". "I want everything orderly and I need lists. I''m aware that I can be annoying," the 45-year-old actress told Parade magazine. "I''m a nutty person who likes to make sure everything is in its place," said Bullock. The actress, who labels herself "a big ball of high energy and organization and structure", however, did not have marriage in her plan until see met biker Jesse James. "Jesse tracked me down. I had no intention of going out with him. I said no for a month." Bullock married Jesse, who has three children from a previous relationship, in 2005. The actress was recently seen in romantic comedy ''The Proposal'', where she starred opposite Ryan Renolds.