I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you.”

•A motivational sign at work: The beatings will continue until morale improves.

•A direct quote from the Boss: “We passed over a lot of good people to get the ones we hired.”

•My Boss frequently gets lost in thought. That’s because it’s unfamiliar territory.

•My Boss said to me, “What you see as a glass ceiling, I see as a protective barrier.”

•My Boss needs a surge protector. That way his mouth would be buffered from surprise spikes in his brain.

•He’s given automobile accident victims new hope for recovery. He walks, talks and performs rudimentary tasks, all without the benefit of a SPINE.

•Some people climb the ladder of success. My Boss walked under it.

•HR Manager to job candidate: “I see you’ve had no computer training. Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.”

•Quote from telephone inquiry: “We’re only hiring one summer intern this year and we won’t start interviewing until the Boss’ daughter finishes her summer classes. — Agencies