Who do you blame if something goes wrong in your career? Your boss or former boss? Colleagues, family members, or the person who recently was hired and either took away your job or the promotion you wanted?

How about if no one is to blame, but someone is responsible? How about if the responsible person is you?

We are a society of blamers. And even though we criticise others for not taking responsibility for their careers, when it’s our turn and something happens to us, we look outward to assign blame. We need to point a finger at someone or something, and in many cases, the finger does not point in our direction.

It is not expected that you walk around with the world on your shoulders if something in your career goes awry, but you should accept what happened, learn from the experience, forgive yourself, make a plan to refocus, and then move on.

So how do we end the blame game?

Recognise —

What it’s costing you

Sometimes blame feels good. We like to be right and if we are right, then another party has to be wrong. We feel vindicated because we know who hurt us and why they are to blame. The downside to blame is we stay stuck and stagnant which makes us feel worse. When we are wronged, we have a decision to make. Be right (and stuck) or be moving. Living well is always the best revenge.

You can stop being a blamer

Blaming can be just as addictive as anything else. The adrenaline and the juice we feel makes us feel alive. But you can stop blame if you want to. Sometimes we continue at habits or thoughts that no longer serve us because we are not sure who we would be without them. Trust that a new you will emerge once you get rid of the blame. Trust that the answers and the direction you seek are there once the cloud of blame has been cleared.

No responsibility means no going forward

When you accept responsibility for your career, a sense of calm will emerge. No longer will your energies be focused outward but inward on you. You will feel great, motivated, and empowered. Your sense of purpose and direction will reappear. You will enjoy being with you again.

Things happens with plans

Once you are responsible then you can be accountable. You can plan your work, and work your plan. You can open your calendar and put items into it again. You can take your goals and break them into small achievable pieces. You can look towards the future and the future will be brighter. You can move forward and achieve results. You can make plans and expect to reach them. You can be a person who used to be a blamer and one that has become a goal reaching machine.

So what do you say? You only have one life to live so it might as well be a life you love! — Agencies