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KATHMANDU, MARCH 15
You had worn big blue sunglasses that covered half of your face; the thin lips that smiled a little highlighted your prominent cheek bones.
You had black hair that was raised like a mountain, probably by the use of hair gel. You looked confident, and, more importantly, you were radiating a message that was clear and loud: "Talk to me at your own risk".
I clicked on your profile and went through your photos. With much contemplation, I decided to take the risk and sent you a friend request. I was nervous, but I thought "why not?" What harm could there possibly be in doing so.
I was very shocked when you accepted my request. I wondered if you too had looked at my profile before accepting my friend request, if you too went through my photos and made speculations about me, and if you did, what you might have thought about me.
I couldn't wait to talk to you, so I said, hi. You replied with a hello. You were curious to know if I knew you. I didn't give a straightforward answer. I didn't tell you that I thought we would vibe sentiments the first time I saw your picture.
That would have been too weird, right? So I played this game which all strangers play, being polite yet keeping most information to oneself. The thin line that separated us was melting away, and I was slowly being attracted to you.
However, I couldn't say that to you, could I? You probably would have thought I was some kind of a psychopath and would have run away from me.
We never talked on a daily basis because, like I said, I didn't want to push things.
I wanted you to feel the same vibe as I had felt the first time I saw you.
You never gave me a straightforward answer as to whether you were single or not. I, too, never really asked as you never seemed to be curious about my relationship status.
You are in my mind for some reason. I don't love you, but I want to know you. I want us to be friends, no drama, nothing.
I wonder if you feel the same. When I had asked you what kind of person you were, you told me that you were friendly to those who are friendly to you.
So, oftentimes, I think you are just being polite, and you are not interested in me. I am scared to ask you if you are interested in becoming my friend for the fear of getting a negative answer.
Therefore, here I am simping over you, too scared to talk to you, too impatient to wait for your text, in that thin line where I can neither call you a friend nor a stranger. I wonder if you could just text me and make things clear.
A version of this article appears in the print on March 16, 2021, of The Himalayan Times.
