Kathmandu:

A few years ago our teenage son, Manav, came home, to Shalini my wife and me, for spending his vacation. Shalini and I started to think of what present we could give to him.

Initially we thought that perhaps cash would be the best, as it would allow him to buy what he wished. However, being of more selfish nature, we desired to give him something which would last for a life-time, not something as ephemeral as cash.

I could think of nothing better than making him understand that he would avoid many heartaches, and much grief if he accepted that ‘no one owes him anything’. Not parents, not family, not friends, nor society owes him a thing. After he is grown up, he is and must be on his own.

A lot of ill plagues our world, if we believe that either the world owes us a living, or, that we owe the society something and must live our lives for the good of all.

Consider the mentality of some who feel that the world owes them a living. These people are constantly on the look out for handouts, charity and living off the efforts of others. They also want government to provide them with cradle to grave security.

If you think this feeling is cured if a nation becomes rich, think again. Even in the US and Western Europe, there are many who think nothing of living off government doles. Welfare recipients in the US think that it is their birthright for taxpayers to support them until they can find work of their choice — of course, if they can get away with it, they will never find a job they will like in this life time.

It is precisely this mentality in our poorer countries, which makes us look to others for providing us with free this and that. Education is important, therefore, let the government provide it for free. Who can doubt the importance of health care, let government give

it to us without charge.

We need water and electricity, let our all-powerful government give it to us for free or at least subsidize it.

The only way for government to provide these facilities is to take it first from someone else. Governments produce nothing and have no power to access any hidden treasure. What they handout to us in charity, doles, and subsidies must first be stolen, confiscated, or taxed. In the ever-lasting hope of getting free goodies, we are prepared to sacrifice our freedom and give more and more power to our government to levy duties, taxes, and tariffs on us.

If we realise that the supposedly free goods are not really free, in fact, any task given to the government costs many times more than what it would cost you or me to do, we would want a government which pretty much left us alone.

The legitimate task of the government is to protect our life, liberty and property, resolve our disputes, and leave us free to pursue our business without let or hindrance. We should neither demand goodies from the government nor think that because we owe the society something, we should let the government do it for us.

Coming back to my son, he may continue to live in a world where everyone thinks that everyone owes something to someone, but at least he will have no such expectation for himself and will be all the happier for it. He will be happier for he will understand that no one has to love him. He will be loved if there are qualities in him which make him lovable, he can if he tries, identify and enhance these qualities.

He will be happier for he will know that no one has to respect him or even like him. If his friends want to be with him, it is not out of duty but because they are happy in his presence. And if people do not respect him or are unkind, that’s no big deal too, he has the right to avoid them, but certainly no right to demand kindness or respect leave alone love.

(The writer can be contacted at: everest@mos.com.np)