These are actual notes left for the Milkman.

“Dear Milkman, I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.”

“Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.”

“Please don’t leave any more milk. All they do is drink it.”

“Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby, and I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.”

“Sorry about yesterday’s note. I didn’t mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way ‘round.”

“Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.”

“My back door is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight.”

“Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday or is it today?”

“No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.” — Hi Lama