Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband’s drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, Yes! An amazing effect !! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head.

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed a note from his mother. It read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. “Is that a dog you got back there?” he asked. “It sure is,” I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said,” What’d he do?”

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. “I’m just wasting my time,” she said to her mother. “I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk!”

— Hi Lama