JUST IN JEST
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilise: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Weekend: When Dad gets to play golf while Mum catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, et cetera.
— Hi Lama