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Mid-life may be bring unexpe-cted challenges, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be in control of your life. In fact, if you’re not, then something or someone else is. As human beings we’re hard-wired to be in charge of ourselves — and our environment. Some of us just take longer than others to learn the distinction between ridding ourselves of symptoms and getting to their source. If we think we don’t have control of our lives because we see our obstacles as insurmountable, we stay where we are — and our problems are guaranteed to become steady companions. Now ask yourself how you define ‘control’ based on your experience. Is there a difference in your definition and the dictionary’s? Perhaps there isn’t one simple answer to define what it means to be in control. Maybe this is because control is more subtle and elusive than we’d like to think it is. We have to involve more of ourselves than just our will if we want to be in control of our lives. After all, we aren’t just onedimensional creatures. Learning to take control involves looking at the whole of us — at our ideas and perceptions about ourselves and others, as well as the world we live in and how we interact with it.

Dwelling on what makes you feel sad, exhausted, angry and powerless won’t help you see your options, or control your life. We all need a degree of distance from problems in order to shift our perceptions and discover our choices. When we define ourselves by problems we become attached to it, as it is to us.