All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight ‘safety lecture’ and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported.

On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating) passengers were having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, “People, people we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”

On a Continental Flight with a very ‘senior’ flight attendant crew, the pilot said, “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

On landing, the stewardess said, “Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.”

“There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane”

“Thank you for flying with us. We hope you enjoyed giving us business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.”

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants... Please do not leave children or spouses.”

After a very hard landing, the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump, and I know what y’all are thinking. It wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”

Another comment on a le-ss than perfect landing: “We ask you to remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.”