Yasmin Taj

Kathmandu:

Since, the world is moving at a rapid pace and women are seizing all opportunities to be in the limelight, what does a man actually feel about these changes? Women’s liberation, feminism, gender equality are commonly heard of words in the present day context. Has the mentality of a male person actually come up to accept such changes in the customary social set up or is he just pretending to follow these trends lest he is termed a Male Chauvinist. Does a man still prefer his woman to stay home and take care of the household? Does he feel threatened by successful women? Does he feel that women are encroaching upon male territory by coming out of the house? If given a choice will a man want to marry a woman who stays home or one who is independent? Does one consider such kind of changes development or degeneration? Let’s see what men from three different generations feel about it. Hear it from the horse’s mouth!

“I don’t just believe in the equality of the sexes, but also practise it”, says Shashi Pratap Bom Malla, Country Representative, DAV Summit Club, Germany. Malla feels that the upcoming changes in the status of women are definitely a significant step towards development. “If the ongoing People’s War wasn’t as such, the status of women would have developed by leaps and bounds,” says he. Bijay Jung Thapa, Deputy Manager, Nepal Bank Ltd also believes that such developments are definitely a step towards modernisation. “Women were living in darkness and were just blindly following their male counterparts in the ancient times, but now they have become capable enough to think and decide for themselves. The women of today comparatively get more exposure and education has helped them come out of ignorance and become better persons.” he conjures. Having seen many generations of women pass by — grandmother, mother, wife and daughter, Malla agrees that there has been a drastic change in the attitude of women. Earlier women would confine themselves to their household and were in fact, very happy with that. But the present generation of women yearn for much more out of life.

Malla further adds, “People belonging to the countryside have realised that a girl child has the same rights as that of a boy child. In cities women are more or less as qualified as men and equally contribute to society.” Sharing positive views about the celebration of Women’s Day, Malla quoted that such occasions have to be celebrated, as there are still many milestones to be achieved. “We can highlight these goals on such occasions because every woman can and should play a vital role in the building up of a society.” Thapa too agrees with this point and says, “ It is great to celebrate such occasions if it is done in a proper way.”

Are men actually coming to terms with the fact that a woman can be better at certain things than men? Thapa believes that certainly there are many jobs for instance housekeeping where women can perform better than men. “But in other fields too they are equally qualified and that’s the reason why they are getting good jobs in the outside world,” he quotes. But how exactly does it affect the mentality and future of a child when both the parents are busy with their careers? Thapa expresses that having a wife who has a career of her own is definitely of great help to any husband. “But there are times when the children are young and need special attention and if at such a point any one of the parents is not there due to work pressures, the child ends up feeling neglected.” Similarly, Malla is neutral towards the idea of career-oriented women and points out that just because a woman works, it does not necessarily mean that traditional values should be ignored. He adds, “This is exactly where Nepali women outshine western women.”

On the other hand, Sabi Shah, a Gen X male says, “There is no denying that women today have placed themselves at par with their male counterparts in every conceivable field. One has to appreciate their awesome feats in breaking conventional fetters but what makes me cynical about women is when they assert I Am Always Right. In making such assertions they sound cocky which is in my personal view against their intrinsic nature. Of course men and women are equal but you would not prove anything just by trumpeting about your own virtues. There are others (I don’t mean men) apart from obsessed feminists, who should be left to judge.” Shah also believes that the celebration of womanhood can be done on any and every day of the year and doesn’t have to be particularly on this day. He also concludes by saying that he would be more than happy to marry a career-oriented woman if she is capable of playing both roles effectively.

Women today have definitely manifested immense strength and courage and have come out of the darkness into the radiance of freedom. And its even better when men keep their egos at bay and appreciate these efforts be it men belonging to any generation. Its true that a positive change has come about in the attitude of men towards women which has certainly made it easier for women to survive in the outside world. This is for all you women! Don’t consider yourself to be equal to men because that isn’t the only criterion to judge yourself by. One should be able to match up to one’s own expectations since only then will you achieve a true sense of womanhood. Happy Women’s Day!