Kathmandu:

Teesri Aankh (Thriller)

Cast: Sunny Deol, Amisha Patel, and Neha Dhupia

Direction: Harry Baweza

Showing at Kumari Cinema

Did you call it the turn of the century techno-thriller? You bet it’s a mythological drama with the quintessential Arjun (Sunny Deol) battling away the twenty-first century Duryodhans! Only this time the Duryodhans, rather than having the fun themselves, choose the camera do it (and that’s probably the only techno thing about the flick!). The cameras of their own accord pry into ladies loos, bathrooms and bedrooms, pronouncing the coming of age of the MMS menace.

What gives the movie its script is the insatiable appetite of the Voyeuristic India, tired of feeding on meagre MMS clips but rather demanding its bull-blown-full-fledged version as million dollars porno flicks. As the racket spreads its wings across continents, the neo-age Arjun, or rather ACP Arjun, must somersault all the way with grace to wipe away the disgrace brought upon all the ma-bahens in Mother India. Unfortunately, he has nothing more than his bare hands to use as his weapons of mass destruction to gauge the ubiquitous third eyes (the hidden cameras!) out.

What’s more, as the potbellied Arjun announces the war on pornography, he himself portrays the pathos of pyrrhic victory (indispensable to the epic battles in Hindi movies!). And as the stereotype Arjun stalks the streets of London to squash the burgeoning racket (as the real Arjun incarnate), his fiancée Sapna (Neha Dhupia) is trapped and meets brutal death. With Ammu (Amisha Patel), a dumb witness, as the only link Arjun must dispense his judicious retribution. So what else does he do but clench his massive fists and hunt down the porn predators. And what good is it if Arjun doesn’t play a Good Samaritan with loads of schmaltzy sermons and saggy action sequences?

Though the flick is all about hidden cameras and pornography, we never get to gape and gawk at nothing other than pole dancers stripping bare to compensate for what we never get to see through the cameras. And what’s even more disappointing is that when Bollywood has a whole host of bimbos straining on the leash, why should harried Harry cast Sunny to sketch the bad patch for himself? It’s an unending travail, as you sit through the pre-intermission part, but what actually leads the story astray is as array of flotsams interspersed relentlessly throughout the flick.

For some reasons though, this one could have worked as a C-grade smut. But even the magnanimous Dhupia turns skinflint to dare bare and else plays the whimpering victim of the camera menace. The problem here, even the modern day Draupadis ain’t yet ready to shed their shame to quell our voyeuristic appetite. So the eventual disappointment! Even Patel, who we’re soon expecting to turn into our desi Lara Croft, is wasted in a role that we can only pity. She plays a dumb witness to all the mishaps and actually appears to be one, and that’s pathetic!