On equal footing
Timro maya unansaye
mero maya saye
Ek thap chhu ma pani
Bara bar timro mero
maya bara bar
Bara bar nari purush
(Your love is 99,
my love is 100
If I add one more
it will be 200
Our love is equal
Male and female are equals)
You should learn all about household work, or else how will you take care of your husband and family later on?”
This is what all girls hear from their mothers and grandmothers while growing up. And it does not come as a surprise in our society that girls are taught from an early age to take care of the house.
It does not matter whether you work in an office or are a housewife, it is the wife’s job to take of the home and hearth.
And without much complaining, women tend to turn themselves into ‘superwomen’ taking care of everything.
But isn’t it also the man’s responsibility to take care of his home? Men are brought to believe that their responsibility will be to become the bread winners for their families, and that their responsibility for their family and home ends there.
And some will not
even lift a stick if it means helping in the household chores. Why? Because it’s the ‘wife’s’ duty.
So, wouldn’t it be lovely if most of our men followed Hari Bansha Acharya’s above lines from his song Barabar?
But do all women believe that being equal is good. Some were reluctant to talk to a patrakar about how their husbands were reluctant to help them in the household chores, while some even supported the fact that household chores are for women only.
Indira Neupane, homemaker, married to Sunil Neupane, officer at Nepal
I feel every husband should help their wife in the household chores. Some don’t, but that’s different because it’s an individual choice. My husband helps me when needed. I am a housewife so don’t have much to do except take care of the house and children. But at times, even I find it tiresome to do everything on my own. My husband goes to work so I cannot expect him to do everything at home, but when needed, he is there ready to help. When I am not well, he makes sure the house is running smoothly and that is more than enough for me.
Ranjana Khadka runs a canteen with her husband Sambhu
Of course, all husbands should help their wife in their work. Shouldn’t they? We work the whole day together cooking, cleaning and serving in our canteen, and in the evening he does not expect me to do the housework.
He makes sure the children are done with their homework and goes out to shop for grocery as well.
I like it best when he cooks. I like his cooking and
that gives me a lot of
time to do other work.
But he does not like washing clothes, so I do that alone (laughs).
Rajani Shahi, working at
Nepal Airlines Corporation, married to Major Keshav Jung Shahi
Being married to an army personnel and expecting him to do household work does not match as he stays away from home for long periods and visits for just a few days. But I am lucky to have a husband like him because he is very helpful and caring when he is home. I have two kids and the younger one is just a couple of months old. So when he is home, he takes care of the children and he is very good at that. That gives me time to rest and take time off for myself. I am not a very good cook but he makes delicious meat items, gundruk and golveda ko achar, so I like when he helps around the kitchen when he is home.
Sumitra Mainali, homemaker
married to Ramesh Mainali, taxi driver
Husbands have their own work, so it will be unfair to ask them to help you around home. If I was also working, I would have expected him to help me, but I am able to handle the home and don’t need his help around the kitchen. But he does take our children (five of them) to school and sometimes even cleans the rooms.
married to Sanu Kaji Maharjan, yoga instructor
The best thing about my husband is that he is not shy to help me around the home. He helps me in almost everything from cooking, buying groceries and taking care of children without asking.
Malati Subedi, runs a canteen with her husband Yagya Lal
We run a business together and the same partnership continues in our household works. He is very active when it comes to helping around the house.
He cleans the house, takes care of the children and most importantly, he wakes up at 2:00 am or 3:00 am to collect water.
We have water problem in our area and he wakes up early and does everything alone letting me rest throughout. He even heats water for the whole family to bathe.